The Storm Within
by theNorwegian
Summary: Mathias is a seventeen year old boy who lives in Denmark and struggles more and more at school because of bullying. he has developed depression and a class trip is closing in. suddenly a new student from Sweden moves into the neighborhood though, and things change. Warnings: Slightly OOC'nes , fluff, attempted murder, maybe some NSWF content and usage of bad words. this is DenSu.
1. Chapter 1

Outside the school bus, heavy snow flakes were falling; they fell from the gray clouds that never seemed to disappear and that had circled the small city for weeks. Some complained about it, sure, but Mathias found it calming and reassuring. He liked to think that the sky was just as sad as him, and that it cried tears of snow because of all the things that were wrong or unfair in this terrible world. Of course, he knew he would never get any real sympathy from the sky, neither from anyone walking under it. He was as one could say unlovable, at least in his own vision.

He had medium good grades and the teachers told him that he was going to get a good career if he wanted; he had a younger sister that adored him, a family that liked him and supported him even though they knew he was gay. He was constantly told by his relatives that he was a handsome and charming man, even if his hair was wilder than the ocean.

But none of that really mattered, did it? Because nothing of that seemed to break through the never ending wall of self-pity and hate he had built up with help from the people who saw him as a scum, a disease that didn't deserve to live and that should never be befriended.

Before high school and college, nothing was like it was now. Then he had a group of good friends that he treated like his dearest. They had been the best of friends!

But then things started to change a bit, as news spread out. As more and more people began to get hold of Mathias's _secret_ about his sexuality and his friends got treated just like the bullies treated him, his friends slowly began to leave him. It wasn't easy for him, and he certainly didn't want them to go away, but as time passed, he realized that he didn't want his friends to suffer the same things as he did either. He didn't throw hatred over them as he understood; no one would want to be with someone who only brought pain, because wherever he went people who knew him would attack him and the people he was with, verbally and physically.

As high school and college came, his smile faded more and more, and the brutality of the bullies grew bigger and bigger.

Breathing out heavily, he was happy to know that in only five months the school year would be over, and he could stay away from the bullies that would hurt him or tease him as soon as they got the chance. At school they would go on forever, but they had never dared follow him home. He guessed they didn't find him amusing enough to show up at his door, but all in all, the bigger the distance was between him and the bullies, the better it was. And it would be nice to stay at home, not worrying of what his parents would think if they saw the bruises the bullies left on him , and of course, not to end up with getting a new bruise or blue mark every day.

Five months… and a God damn class trip to Norway. He sighted heavily again. Five months at school and a whole week with the people who hated him. He was damn sure that if they didn't kill him, he would.

Mathias turned around to check on his younger sister, who sat at the back of the bus with the ones he liked to call the bullies. He didn't exactly like the idea of her sitting with those douche bags, but it was her own choice.

"Hey, Mathias, how was school today!?" Oh no, trouble.

He turned around quickly and fixed his gaze at the road. As a boy named Henrikk, a black haired boy with a muscular building and angular features, came straight towards him. He was the one who was the most brutal of them all.

"yo Henrikk, leave him alone! You're not going to impress anyone"

Mathias felt a hint of relief when he heard his sitter's voice, but it faded quickly.

"Oh, but it's just an everyday routine!" Henrikk bragged. Mathias saw Henrikk turn against him.

"Isn't that right Mathias?"

Mathias bit his lip, trying to sit as still as possible, sometimes when he did that Henrikk would leave him alone. Today was not one of those days.

"Yeah right, trying to be quiet huh?" Henrikk grabbed the collar of Mathias's jacket and smiled. "I thought you liked to be a bit vocal, you know being all feminine and stuff."

Mathias looked away as Henrikk spoke, he didn't really find himself more feminine than other boys at his own age, quite the contrary actually, but if he said that now, he'd be sure of one thing, and that was that he'd get a punch to the face or the gut.

"Why don't you speak up, you homo, gotten something too big down your throat?!"

Mathias jolted at the aggressive manner.

"Yeah, tell him" a boy close to the front of the bus cheered.

Mathias felt himself cringe with angst as he heard more than the half of the bus laugh at the terrible joke. He knew damn sure what was about to happen when the crowd of people cheered on Henrikk to go on. He looked at Henrikk who clenched his fist.

"Well if you don't know how to be vocal now, maybe I should teach you"

Mathias closed his eyes and grabbed hold of the bus seat, and in the blink of an eye, he felt the searing pain after the punch to his nose. As he felt Henrikk let go he also felt his own blood drip down on his hand. He tried to cover it using his sleeves and watched as Henrikk left to sit back in the bus again. Usually he just mocked him verbally, no punching and shit like that and he hated it… but it was better than the times he hit him and decided to make more people follow the same suit. He felt awful every time Henrikk did that. It left him with a raging storm of feelings on the inside, rage and fear bubbling up together.

When he got off on the bus stop, his sister gave him a couple of napkins she had available due to a cold she had had earlier. They got the mail at the mailbox and walked up the short hill leading to their house in silence until they were almost home.

"You know, Mathias" Mathilda, his sister, started. "Don't you think you should tell mom or dad?"

Mathias nodded a no. it would be better if they didn't know. It was always better when no one knew.

Mathilda kicked a lump of ice and pouted, it wasn't fair that her brother should have it like this. She kicked the ice lump in front of Mathias, who kicked the lump back to her again.

"You know, they're just jealous at you because half of the schools girls are in love with you. "

Mathias breathed a faint laugh "In me? I don't think so, no one likes me"

"I like you…"

Mathias made a gloomy expression, and then looked at Mathilda. "It's not the same"

In the corner of his eye he could see the worried expression Mathilda made and he really appreciated the sympathy, but right now, all he wanted to do was to get home, burry himself in blanket's, fall asleep and never wake up. Everything felt like a routine, wake up, go to school, and get treated like a piece of shit, get beaten, cover up and go home. He was downright sick of the everyday routine.

He sighted heavily another time.

The worst thing was that nothing really seemed like it was going to make things change to the better either. Every day as the same and things were starting to get worse. He wasn't the same person he had used to be. His grades were dropping due to fear of saying things in classes. He dropped the gym classes due to the things some of the boys in his class had done to him in the locker rooms before. He never spoke and kept to himself. A thing that was no good for his grades nor reputation.

He wished for something to happened, something nice for a change. Just something that could change that shitty routine, or someone.

* * *

HIyaa guys! long time no see. I'm back again and I really hope that at least one of you guys can review!

this story will be a long one/longer than all my other stories at least and Please tell me if you find any spelling mistakes! Also, Henrikk isn't based on any of the Hetalia character's he's based on a douche that sits next to me in class.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Mathias entered the school bus with a clearly showing blue mark on his face. The blue mark stretched from the corner of his left eye and downwards to his cheek. It could be seen as an ordinary black-eye, but to Mathias it was the nose that was causing most of the pain, not the eye.

He remembered skipping dinner in an attempt to hide it from his mom and dad and failing miserably, later he just told them that he had walked past someone in the middle of a snowball fight and been unlucky. To his relief, it worked.

Mathias wasn't exactly happy to show up at school with a black-eye, but he couldn't just drop school either. His sister had full heartedly tried to help him cover it with makeup, but when he had whined too much about how it hurt, she had to give up, giving him no choice but to show up at school like he was…Not that he wasn't used to showing up at school with black-eyes.

Anyway, at the bus everyone seemed to be sleeping, ignoring him or listening to loud music through head phone, just as usual.

He sat down at the place he used to, in the middle of the bus just behind the second door. Nothing really seemed like it was going to change the normal beginning of the day, before he noticed someone hurriedly entering the bus in the last second before it took off. He didn't get a good look at the person, but he was pretty sure it was a man.

As he had expected, it was, and knowing that some stranger had stepped onto the bus where he used to step onto it made him a bit curious.

He could easily see the man's light blond hair, and a pair of glasses as the guy sat down three seats away from him.

But that wasn't enough, was it? He put his bag down between his legs and tried to get a better look of the unfamiliar man, stretching a bit as he did. He pouted annoyed at a girl who blocked his view and tried to peek past her.

Had the guy recently moved into the neighborhood?

While he was looking he could faintly hear Henrikk and some other guys saying something in the back of the bus and then laughing. They were probably laughing at the black eye or making some kind of ugly or repulsive comment, just like they used to, but Mathias shrugged it off and looked towards the man again in wonder, before the head of the girl came in the way again.

Giving up on trying to see more of the blond man and sinking back into the bus seat, Mathias looked to the empty spot next to himself and then out the window, feeling a hint of loneliness hit him. He didn't know why, but he wanted the stranger who he had never ever seen before to sit next to him.

He smiled at his own stupidity and shook his head. Maybe it was normal, Mathias thought to himself. Maybe it was normal to wish for a stranger to sit next to you when you were lonely, but had it gone that far?

In the hallway, everything was different from the bus… instead of ignoring him, everyone was looking. As Mathias hurriedly walked up the hallway and up the stairs to his class room, he didn't just see the people's reactions, he heard them. Someone gasped and other's mumbled and whispered, but mostly, he heard laughter. He didn't exactly get why everyone thought it was so funny, but either way; he still wanted to get to his classroom quickly.

At his classroom though, things weren't better. There his class mates could stare and laugh at him, close up. As he walked to the back of the classroom and sat down, he could quite clearly, hear Henrikk brag about how he had given him the black-eye.

Sitting down on his chair in the ten meters long classroom, he nervously bit his lip and hoped that Henrikk or the others wouldn't notice he was there, and, for once in his life, it worked.

He then calmly spent a few minutes looking out of the window and down at 'the sunrise', a café a couple of hundred meters away from the school, in complete silence. It was the one out of many reasons he liked his spot in the classroom. To be able to watch all the people passing at winter's time with their coats tucked closely to their body and seeing people loosing up a bit during the spring. It was something he truly never would get sick of. Especially not when so many people fell on their butts or backs due to the hidden ice on the streets during winter.

Mathias smiled as finally the two minutes late teacher greeted them with a cheerful smile. Her name was Miss Kristen and she was definitely not someone who made fun of him.

Their first class for the day was major history, a subject he didn't find too difficult, but rather fun and exciting. For the days lesion the only thing they were going to do, was to read a couple of pages and do some tasks. But after a few minutes though, he went short on concentration and couldn't help but to wonder who that blond guy could have been and what class he was going to stay at, as he was sure he had moved into the neighborhood and was going to stay there, just like he was sure the man was going to begin at this school.

Out of the blue Mathias suddenly noticed that there was an extra desk in the room that hadn't been there the other day, and as he noticed, someone knocked on the door and disturbed the silence in the classroom.

It couldn't be… could it?

Miss Kristen warmly welcomed the student Mathias remembered as Jan, a fairly tall student with dirty blond hair and olive green eyes, a childhood friend of his who he suddenly had lost contact with several years ago, and behind him there was another guy.

Mathias had to shut his mouth hard to ensure that his jaw wouldn't drop. It was_him_**, **the guy at the bus. Was he going to stay in this classroom!?

Mathias felt a strange sense of triumph and happiness flow through him.

"Sorry, but uh, this guy here got lost in the hallway" Jan sternly said to Miss Kristen as he guided the new guy into the classroom.

"Oh no, it's okay Jan, thank you for guiding him here!"

Mathias eyed the seemingly nervous boy and tried to smile, even if he wasn't looking at him, as Jan disappeared out the door.

So that was how he looked! Mathias bit his lip as he studied the new student with curious eyes.

He had a pair of glasses, bright blond hair, as he had seen earlier, and damn, he looked very well built, and he also looked like he was a bit taller than him. As clothes the guy wore a blackish pair of pants and a dark blue hoodie, but what caught Mathias' attention the most was a pair of shockingly intimidating, ice blue eyes.

Mathias was sure that if looks could kill, that guy would have been a talented serial killer, but the soft smile he wore made him seem a bit, well… softer and less intimidating.

As a teacher usually does when a new student meets the class for the first time, she stood up and asked for everyone's attention.

"Okay class, so this is our new student I told you about yesterday-"

The whole class protested at the comment and told her that she hadn't told them anything about the new guy, as she in fact hadn't.

"Oh, haven't I? Well I'm sorry" She apologized for the mistake and continued "but anyway. This is Berwald and he's going to stay in our class, isn't that wonder full!"

Some few members in the class nodded, others didn't exactly care.

"So come on, Berwald, tell us a bit about yourself"

So that was his name? Mathias smiled at the unusual name.

Berwald nervously fidgeted with his thumbs a few seconds before he shyly started to talk.

"I'm Berwald…as you probably heard, and I've moved here from Sweden with my mom and dad and I… like reading…" Berwald said, with an unusual deep voice for a seventeen year old.

Mathias raised an eyebrow. That was it? To be honest he had thought the guy did some kinds of sports… but, maybe he was just strong built?

Mathias genuinely nodded to himself as he came to the conclusion that, that was it.

Berwald stood there awkwardly for a couple of more seconds before Miss Kristen, helpfully, started to move some of the desks around, making place for the new student.

For some reason Mathias deeply hoped that Berwald would sit next to him so that he could get to know the guy better, but at the second he thought of it, something, his own mind, told him that no one found him interesting and that Berwald would never want to be his friend, even if he tried his best.

But even when Mathias's brain told him that luck was never going to be on his side, Berwald was placed next to him, at the last row, because the classroom wasn't big enough for another desk at the front row.

Later during the class, Miss Kristen had to go away because of some trouble down in the second floor, and all the students had flocked around Berwald like wild dogs around a prey before you knew the word of it. Well, almost everyone.

Even how much he wanted to talk to the new student, Mathias had a problem that didn't let him near Berwald. Henrikk was blocking his way.

Henrikk was every now and then turning around to give him a look that could easily be connected to a threat. Although Mathias still felt tempted to talk to the new guy, he could always wait till the school day was over and they were going home. The guy was sitting on the same bus as him anyway, wasn't he?

As Mathias looked on how the others were approaching Berwald he didn't exactly get an idea of that Berwald was the 'talkative' type, and it looked more and more like he was rather uncomfortable with all the new people. Mathias hummed… he wouldn't exactly have liked it either, if he was new at a school and people he didn't know suddenly surrounded him with questions, but… somehow it looked like Berwald was shy.

Mathias sighted. He could easily sympathize with that feeling.

Looking over to the surrounded Berwald once again, he suddenly found himself staring right into his piercing eyes. They both stared at each other for maybe a few seconds, before Berwald was the one to break eye contact.

Mathias then felt a slight bang of guilt without really knowing why… maybe it was because Berwald had looked at him was like he was wondering why he wasn't over there with all the others trying to dig deeper into his personal life, or maybe because he felt like he was ignoring the guy.

Damn it.

Feeling the temptations to go over there and talk with Berwald get bigger, Mathias threw a worried look at Henrikk. What if Henrikk would say something that made Berwald think of him like the whole class did if he went over there? Or even worse, what if he'd make sure that the black-eye got bigger. Mathias felt himself cringe. Then his eyes widen.

Maybe the reason Berwald had looked at him with such intensity was because he had a black-eye?!

No wonder the guy would stare at him!

Mathias found himself pleased with his own explanation and tried to calm down, eventually settling with doing his tasks, but not for very long.

Looking back at the flock surrounding Berwald, he could see Henrikk standing tall, like he was proud, and he could hear the, oh so sickening words that made him feel like throwing up. Henrikk was outright bragging about himself in a way that made Mathias's insides turn. He perfectly knew why he hated the guy, and hearing him brag was something that made him sicker than anything else in the world.

Not even managing to do his tasks because of all the things going on in the noisy classroom, Mathias threw a glance at the clock.

09:55.

Five minutes to recess.

Maybe he could try to talk with Berwald then?

When recess time came, Mathias had settled his decision. He was going to talk to the guy, no matter what.

Giving the fact that all the other students had gone tired of talking or trying to get information out of Berwald, it was pretty easy to find him where he was standing alone in the hallway corner, fidgeting with his phone.

Leaning against the wall next to Berwald, Mathias smiled nervously and coughed to get his attention. He watched as Berwald, who looked a bit startled, looked at him.

"Hi." Mathias started.

"…Hi" Berwald answered.

"So, what are you doing?" Mathias asked awkwardly.

"m'not doing much really" Berwald answered, putting away his phone. "I'm just you know, trying to memorize the hallways 'nd stuff like that." he mumbled.

"And you're doing that by standing completely still right here?" Mathias asked sarcastically. He could barely see Berwald's lips curl up into a smile.

"Okay, was" Berwald corrected.

Mathias smiled. "I could show you a bit around next recces, if you want to"

"That would h've been nice" Berwald responded, looking a bit around the hallway with a firm expression. Mathias smiled wider. The guy had a funny accent and the conversation was going steadily, just as he wanted.

"Our next class is going to be at the second floor, if you wondered" Mathias informed, looking at the people that were passing by them in the hallway.

Berwald nodded at the comment.

Not really the talkative type is he? Mathias thought to himself.

Continuing to watch the people pass by for a few seconds, Berwald calmly turned around, facing Mathias.

"May I ask, what's your name?"

"Oh" Mathias remembered he hadn't presented himself for the Swede and smiled as he did. "My name is Mathias, sorry for not telling you" He stretched out his hand for a handshake, and Berwald responded by firmly shaking it.

Jesus, how stupid could one get, forgetting such a thing.

He grinned as Berwald repeated his name and both let go of each other's hands.

He saw Henrikk pass by, and his smile faded. He followed Henrikk's steps with concerned eyes until he was gone, then he once again looked back at Berwald with a smile.

"So I give it that you and that guy, don't get along" Berwald mumbled.

Mathias gave Berwald a questioning look.

"It just looked like it in the classroom, that's all" Berwald said, looking away, like he had said something wrong.

"Well, we aren't the best of friends." Mathias responded. "But it doesn't matter, no one really cares about that" He continued, a bit taken aback.

Berwald responded by looking back at him and then looking at the black-eye covering most of the underside of Mathias's eye, with a questioning look.

"So he did that?" Berwald hinted to the black-eye, with a concerned expression.

Mathias nodded and bit his lip, looking away feeling a bit intimidated by the sudden care.

"It's not really a big deal, you know, it's just kind of a routine, as he calls it" He ended the sentence with a weak laugh, feeling a bit nervous talking about it. Yeah, _the routine_…

Berwald looked out into nowhere for a while thinking, feeling like he had taken up a personal subject too early. He didn't even know the guy. Better try to fix it, he thought.

He was silent for a while before responding.

"That bitch…"

He said the words stone faced, and after a couple of silent seconds, Mathias laughed at the outright sympathy and agreed.

"You know, you're a really nice guy even if you're from Sweden." Mathias complimented with a smile. Berwald snorted at the compliment and barely smiled too.

After that, both of them leaned against the wall again as both realized they had moved a bit away from it and closer to each other during the conversation; once again watching students and teachers pass by.

On the inside, Mathias was screaming. Berwald seemed pretty alright for a person he had just met, and he was definitely not the 'Henrikk' type if you could say that. It seemed more like he was more polite and calm. A bit hard to get to laugh, but hey, it was their first conversation! And, it didn't look like he thought he was irritating or annoying at all! Mathias internally slapped himself for thinking such things about him, now that he somehow felt like Berwald could never really mock or bully a person. More outright, he seemed like a gentle sportsman who'd worry even if you had just cut your finger on a piece of paper.

He was definitely the type of person he wanted as a friend.

He checked his phone and signalized to Berwald that it was time to go to class.

* * *

Hi guys! as you probaly already know, REVIEW! (not to be cranky but no one ever do and it's starting to get a bit frustrating, like, do you guys even read this shit?)

okay cranky me to the side; next chapter will involve a short backstory and etc.


	3. Chapter 3

As Mathias showed way through the hallways, Berwald unquestioningly followed him. It was a pretty big school, smaller than his last one, but he had already managed to get lost one time. He figured it was better if he kept up with the guy.

As Mathias opened the door to the classroom they were supposed to be at, Berwald realized they were a bit late, since the whole class was already there and all the people stared at them as they entered.

Mathias led the way to the two free spots in the back of the room, eyeing Henrikk who was for some reason smiling, it creped him out for sure. Berwald saw the smile too, but he didn't know how much a smile from Henrikk meant to Mathias. As they sat down, the swede looked at Mathias and saw him bite his lip in a nervous manner. He didn't really get it, was the smile a threat?

Mathias saw Henrikk look back at him and smile during the whole class, and he _knew _something bad was about to come. He didn't know what, but he was damn sure it was something that would quite easily stop the little befriending thing he had going with Berwald. God knew what the guy would tell him. It could be that he was just planning to beat him, but no, not with that smile. He knew Henrikk was planning his next move, his next _show_. Yes, he could see the headlines _'How to make Mathias Khøler a friendless loser once again'_ _played in the hallway_!

He huffed in frustration. He knew he had to somehow avoid Henrikk, so settling at that thought, he decided that whenever recess time came, he would do anything to not be at the same place too long. Showing Berwald around the school would then fit perfectly with his plan.

He glanced over at the Swede, noticing that he was looking straight at Henrikk with a rather harsh look. Had he already realized that Henrikk was a dick?

When the school day was closing in on its end, Henrikk hadn't done anything yet much to Mathias's surprise, and walking through all the possible hallways in the school, he and Berwald had gotten to know each other much better.

Berwald had apparently moved to Denmark from Stockholm because his parents' job place had been moved. Both said parents were also working at the same place as architects. They had moved around quite a lot, but Berwald said that he finally thought they had settled down for good.

Walking to the bus in a slow peace, Mathias was a bit surprised to hear Berwald be the one talking the most when it came to his family and old friends. It was now obvious to him that Berwald only took the effort to talk in longer times when the subject really interested him. As he thought he had heard, the guy's best friend before they moved had been a boy named Tino who, surprisingly enough, also was his cousin. He thought it was a bit weird that some peoples best friends were their family, but how could he judge him, he only had his sister when it came to friends.

As both stopped besides a streetlamp at the bus stop, Mathias smiled. Berwald was in the middle of telling a story of how he and Tino once had broken into a swimming hall together with a gang of other fellows who usually didn't do anything wrong. Mathias couldn't believe it. Berwald seemed so serious and was yet capable of doing such a thing?

"Did you guys get caught?" Mathias interrupted.

"No, that's the f'nny part, police never found out who did it" Berwald replied.

Mathias laughed. "They probably didn't investigate well enough, bet you guys probably left like, hundreds of clues"

"well…n't hundreds, a few maybe. The police usually do a good job investigating bad crimes and such, b't they never really gave any effort into that case." Berwald said.

"I usually don't do stuff like that though, Tino was the one to convince me into doing it with them…" he added quickly.

"Relax, I'm not going to tell them." Mathias said. He took his time and dragged the collar of his jacket over his chin. It was cold outside, probably around minus six degrees Celsius.

He saw Berwald relax seconds later. Both leaned against the streetlamp and calmly watched as other students walked past, many of them were walking home in larger groups.

"So don't you have any friends you usually hang out with?" Berwald mumbled.

Mathias lifted an eyebrow. Looking down at his shoes that were covered in snow he tried to get some of it off.

"Nah… not really." he answered.

He saw Berwald shift.

"Why not?"

"Some stuff that happened a while ago… "

Berwald looked questionably at him.

"Don't get the wrong idea, I didn't kill anyone. If that's what you think" Mathias said. "It's just that people have a hard time liking me, if you understand"

Berwald nodded and pushed his glasses up again. He understood, but at the same time he didn't. Mathias seemed nice enough, charming, handsome, and funny and talk active… the opposite of what he himself was. He looked at Mathias's black-eye; a proof of that at least one guy in particular didn't like him, but why?

"Why?" he asked, looking straight at him.

That one Mathias hadn't seen coming.

"…" Mathias tried to come up with anything except the real truth, looking away for a moment with his mouth half open.

He couldn't tell him the real truth could he? No, it wasn't safe yet. But what should he say?

"It's a secret" Mathias eventually said, looking away.

Berwald frowned. He wasn't really a fan of secrets. Still, he figured it was for the best not to ask more about it. Something had clearly happened a long time ago and Mathias didn't look too comfortable talking about it. The way Mathias seemed a bit nervous made him more curious though.

Mathias suddenly moved away from the streetlamp.

"The bus is here" he informed.

Mathias was the one to pick seats, and as usual, he sat down in the middle of the bus behind the second door and Berwald sat down next to him. Mathias couldn't help himself but to look. It was unusual for him to have someone sit down next to him, even when the bus was full, people avoided sitting next to him. He furrowed his eyebrows for a second, turned his head to look outside and then smiled. He guessed it was pretty nice to have someone to sit next to.

During the bus ride he saw someone staring, others turning around to whisper something to the one's sitting next to them; Mathias was sure Berwald noticed them too, but he didn't seem to care.

Completely out of the blue Mathias suddenly remembered that he hadn't really asked where Berwald lived. He knew that he lived close enough for him to step onto the bus at the same place as him, but nothing more than that.

Really wanting to focus on something else than the suspicious looks he got from the other passengers in the bus he turned to Berwald and noticed that the guy was already looking at him too. He saw how Berwald quickly looked another way and guessed he had just been staring at his black-eye again and smiled.

"So Berwald, I know you live somewhere close to my place but, where? "

Berwald thought for a while "ya know that slightly big house that has one green painted side but all the other sides are white?"

Mathias nodded.

"Well, that's the place" Berwald exclaimed.

"That's like almost next to my place!" Mathias replied. He wasn't exaggerating either; the house was literally just three houses away. How could he have missed that? How couldn't he have noticed that a house so close had been for sale?

Mathias turned around again to look at Berwald with a smile, but in the crook of his eye he could also see Henrikk stand up from his buss seat in the back of the bus. His smile faded as he saw Henrikk' grow on the way towards them.

"So"

Henrikk clasped his hand down on Berwald's shoulder and Mathias noticed how Berwald jolted, tensed and then how his expression darkened. Mathias didn't even know that a person's mood could change so visibly.

Berwald turned his head to stare directly at Henrikk and the smiling guy laughed a loud and short laugh.

"Sorry if I scared you, Berwald, but I and the guys in the back there just wondered if you wanted to sit with us."

Mathias opened his mouth to protest, and then closed it again. He couldn't really speak on the behalf of Berwald, could he?

"I mean, you don't want to sit next to a guy like Mathias! Am I right?" Henrikk continued and threw Mathias a cocky smile as he did, before laughing loudly again. A few guys in the back of the bus laughed too.

Mathias felt a hint of fear grow inside him, even if the conversation was between Berwald and Henrikk, one never knew how it would turn out.

There was a silent moment in the bus. Mathias looked at Berwald and their gazes met. He noticed how Berwald looked conflicted and he felt himself get nervous. He knew that expression. For once he actually had the chance to get a new friend and now he was going to lose it!?

Berwald looked at Henrikk again.

"Thank you, but no thanks. I'd rather sit here"

"Ha! That's what I thought! See, no one want's to sit with you Mat- wait, what?" Henrikk stopped talking like something had hit him right in the head and his smile faded.

"I said I'd like to sit here" Berwald repeated, face completely serious and voice deep.

Mathias's eyes widen. _What?_

"Now if you will excuse us, we were right in th' middle of a conversat'n" Berwald said expressionless.

Henrikk stood silent for a while, his expression darkened, and then he backed off, laughing a silent cynical laugh. "Yeah right, the offer still remains if you change your mind" He said with an obnoxious smile.

"Hmm, not gonna do that" Berwald mumbled barely hearable in return.

Mathias's expression looked more and more amazed.

He watched as Berwald turned to look at him again. He was completely speechless. Someone had chosen him over Henrikk. No one did that.

"That was a b't annoying, wasn't it?" Berwald said lowly.

"Yeah" Mathias said in return, expression completely blank, still a bit baffled by what had just happened. To him it looked like Berwald thought he had just done something completely normal. Did he even know what he had just done?

"I'm sorry but why didn't you say yes?" He asked.

Berwald looked at him questioningly.

"Like, Henrikk is kind of the better option" Mathias explained. He somehow hurt himself saying that, but it was true. He wanted Berwald to be his friend, badly, but saying no to such a thing was simply not something that was going to leave you 'alone'. Henrikk was known for picking on or bullying people who didn't want to be his friends.

"I don't think sitting next to someone who speaks like that to other people is that much better than sitting next to you. He's an ass, you're not, I think" Berwald replied expressionless.

Mathias breathed a laugh, noticing the most likely un-intended funny correction at the end of the sentence.

"I don't exactly like people who beat others either" Berwald continued, hinting to Mathias's black-eye.

"Yeah, not many people do" Mathias said, smiling faintly. He didn't really know how to respond.

Both went silent for a while, Mathias tugging his jacket over his chin again and Berwald fixing his glasses.

"Yo, Mathias, You're not planning on taking a long trip are ya!?"

Mathias looked up quickly, recognizing his sister's voice. _Oh, _where they there already!?

Mathias saw Berwald get up from his bus seat and did just the same, throwing his bag strap over the shoulder. It was weird. Sometimes the bus ride seemed to take forever. Now it felt like it had just gone a minute or two.

As all three stepped off the bus, Berwald sent Mathias a questioning look. Mathias looked at his sister and realized that Berwald probably wondered who she was.

"If you wonder she's my sister and her name is Mathilda" he whispered. Berwald mouthed an 'oh' and looked at her. She sure looked like someone who could have been Mathias's sister; they both had the same wild, sand-blonde hair.

All three walked the same way for a couple of hundred meters, Mathilda way behead of the two older guys, before they came to the hill leading towards Mathias's house. Of course the hill had three roads. One leading to Mathias's and Mathilda's house, the other one leading to a weird yellow house where two cranky old people lived, and the third leading to the house where Berwald lived.

Mathias and Berwald stopped walking as they came to the hill, whereas Mathilda kept walking.

"So, see you tomorrow?" Mathias asked. "Sure" Berwald replied.

"Okay, see ya then" Mathias said, slowly turning to walk away.

"Oh, wait a second" Berwald said hesitatingly.

Mathias stopped and turned to face him, eyebrows lifted.

"Could I get your number?"

"What?"

"Could I get your number?" Berwald repeated. He fixed his glasses and adjusted the bag strap, waiting for the blond to reply.

"Oh, of course" Mathias mumbled. He hadn't expected the question, but Berwald was new in the town, so having at least one person's number wasn't a bad idea, he thought. He fumbled with his phone and unlocked the black and white screen.

"Uh, here it is! Nine… Eight…"Mathias started. He felt his voice shake as he talked.

Berwald pressed down the buttons on his phone, listening carefully so he wouldn't press the wrong button. He found the number to be quite like his.

"And… Seventy seven"

Mathias smiled awkwardly when he saw Berwald write the last numbers down and looked down to his shoes, suddenly finding them _very_ interesting. Berwald finally nodded as saying 'got it' and then said a barely hearable 'good bye'

Mathias waved and said 'good bye' too, feeling his voice get a bit lighter at the end.

He blushed a bit as he saw Berwald walk away and turned around, noticing that Mathilda had stopped walking and waited for him further up the hill. He tried to walk fast, wanting to catch up with her.

Only halfway there he could see the huge grin she had on her face.

"So Mathias" The younger started when he was there.

"Who was _that_?" She grinned widely and lifted an eyebrow.

"Mathilda, no" Mathias mumbled and smiled, but quickly changed his expression to a serious one.

"Mathilda, yes" She replied.

Mathias sighted. _Here it comes, _he thought.

"He was damn hot! Did you see that!? Like, are you friends with that guy!? Is he coming over some time?!"

Mathias rolled his eyes.

"Because if he is I'm going to steal a tiny kiss or something, I mean! Wow!"

Mathias couldn't deny that he had seen Berwald's handsome look but at the same time, he couldn't deny that his sister was a complete dork sometimes.

"Mathilda, he's only a guy I met today, I don't even know if he sees me as friend material yet"

"Oh shut it, the guy said no to sitting with Henrikk instead of you, he sees you as friend material" Mathilda replied.

Mathias grimaced. "You don't know that"

"And also, I heard that he asked for your number so yes, I know that"

Mathias huffed, staring at his sister.

"But he is coming over right, I mean if you're not going to take him I am, because damn!"

Mathias groaned.

"You're not taking anything, Mathilda" Mathias said. He didn't know why, but he just didn't want his sister to 'take' Berwald. He knew she was just teasing, but still… and it wasn't like the guy was_that _handsome.

"And no, he's not coming over" He added before Mathilda managed to ask.

Mathilda pouted.

"Well it's nice seeing you actually talk to someone who isn't me for once though" Mathilda said. Mathias smiled at the comment, completely missing out on the fact that Mathilda bent down and took a handful of snow in her fists.

"But you have to admit it-"Mathilda started, making Mathias turn to look at her.

"I am the best" She said, and before Mathias knew it, she had flung the snow right in his face.

It. was. _Cold_.

As Mathias was desperately trying to get the snow away from his face he noticed that Mathilda had already started running the fastest she could, laughing really loudly.

Mathias grinned, scooped up a handful of snow too, and ran after her.

No way was his sister going to have the pleasure of entering the house warm and _without _snow in her face.

When Mathias and Mathilda entered the house, both had snow down their jackets and cold hands. They were both laughing and pushing each other away when they dropped their bags down in the hallway. Mathias had definitely not shown any mercy.

He heard his mom say 'hello' from the kitchen and greeted her back. She wasn't usually home at this time of the day, but maybe she had a day off? He could smell a faint hint of dinner that supported his theory.

He kicked off his shoes and ran up to his room and flung himself down on the bed. The warm bed sheets smelled newly washed and were black, just as he liked them.

He glanced at the one poster in his room that had a picture of the band 'My chemical Romance' on it. He knew perfectly well that the band had split, but their songs were awesome and he felt like they understood him.

Right now, he didn't really feel like listening to music though, he felt like screaming…out of joy.

He didn't know if Berwald looked at him as friend material, but the guy had asked him for his number. _His number_! He was new in town and having a person who knew they place probably wasn't a bad idea, but still!

Mathias rolled over to his belly, making a tiny scream down in the pillow.

Friend or not, there was finally a person who wasn't in his family that didn't think he was utterly repulsive or pathetic.

He heard his dad's car drive up the driveway and seconds later he heard his mom yell the word 'Dinner' loudly.

He heard his stomach growl. Maybe dinner wasn't a bad idea.

His mom had made pancakes for dinner, a nice meal if you liked it. Mathias laid one on his plate, watching as Mathilda covered hers in sugar and blueberries. His dad, a man in his late forties, looked at him with a smile.

"You seem happy today" he remarked.

Mathias nodded and Mathilda passed him the sugar.

"That's because he got a boyfriend" Mathilda muttered.

Mathias looked at her with a grim expression. That was definitely not what he wanted his parents to think.

"What, I'm just telling them the truth" She remarked.

"I didn't get a boyfriend Mathilda I barely know him" He replied. He knew she was joking, but still.

"He's just a new guy, he just moved in in the house with the one green wall down the street" he informed his parents, feeling his cheeks warm up a bit.

His mom chuckled and smiled.

"What's his name then?" She asked.

"Berwald" he mumbled. He felt his cheeks warm up more. Why did his sister have to make everything so embarrassing?!

He continued to pour sugar on his pancake. He had a sweet tooth and couldn't really help it.

"I'm going to ask him if he wants to join Mathias to the prom" Mathilda said teasingly.

Mathias's eyes widen.

"We have a prom?" He asked.

"Dear didn't you know? We got an email last week" His mother informed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mathias asked.

"You were all buried in your books and heavy music so I didn't want to bother you" she replied.

Mathias leaned back in his chair. He remembered something about an email yes, but why hadn't he heard of it at school? He shrugged the question away, looking at Mathilda.

"By the way, no. you're not asking him" He said to her with a stern expression.

Mathilda made a childish smile and laughed.

The dinner then continued like normal, Mathilda discussing with her mother and father, and Mathias keeping silent. He wondered if the chance of Berwald wanting to go to the prom with him as a friend even existed, and if, would Henrikk who always went there try to beat him up or bother him in any possible way. He usually never went to proms, most because he had no friends to go with, but this time…

He took another pancake, once again finding himself head over with thoughts.

Tomorrow was going to be Wednesday, and since his sister was talking about the prom so much, he guessed the prom was going to be on Friday?

He put his plate in the dishes when he was done eating and went upstairs. He looked at himself in the mirror that hung over his desk, seeing that his black-eye had gotten better. It was slowly fading away and maybe if he was lucky, it would heal completely till Friday.

He whined as he touched around his eye. It still hurt though.

He guessed that if the topic came up and Berwald actually wanted to go, then he could join him. But he didn't have too much hope when it came to that matter.

Later during the day and evening he spent his time reading an old book he had read several times before, and fidgeting with his phone, wondering if Berwald would answer him if he sent a message. The book he read was 'the collection of Danish fairytales'. He felt a bit childish reading it, but he enjoyed the easiness of the book. The stories weren't filled with problems and death wishes as he usually experienced every day in the real life.

Around 11 P.M he felt tired and decided to put the book down. He had read every story in it so many times before now that he knew them by heart anyway.

He lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling with his phone in his hand.

He stroke the phone screen with his thumb over and over, wondering if he should send Berwald a message. What was he doing? How was his family? Was he already asleep?

He unlocked his phone and found Berwald's number. He could at least give it a try.

"_Hi_"

He waited nervously, biting his lip.

He felt the phone vibrate in his hand and looked down at the screen with big eyes.

"_Hi"_

_He fucking answered! _Mathias screamed in his head. He thought for a while, wondering what he should reply with.

"_What are you doing at the moment?"_

He waited for a minute or two.

"_Nothing special, carrying the last boxes with things into my room…you?_"

Mathias bit his lip again, wondering what to say. He looked around himself, finding nothing interesting to answer.

"_Just laying around_"

"Cool, _meet at the bus stop tomorrow?" _

"_Sure!" _

Mathias groaned, regretting writing an exclamation mark at the end. It made him sound way too into it. He looked around himself again, this time spotting his blue bag. He usually dropped gym and he guessed his gym shorts gym shirt was still inside it unused. Tomorrow he would make an exception though, he just felt like he had to. He made a hum, wondering if Berwald knew they had a gym class tomorrow.

"_Btw, we have gym tomorrow if you wondered._ "

It went another couple of minutes.

"_Oh, okay. Thanks for telling me. Got to go now, so, good night" _Berwald wrote.

Mathias smiled when he read the words. He didn't know why, but the 'good night' made him a bit giddy.

"_Good night" _Mathias wrote back.

When his phone screen blacked out, he breathed out relieved. That hadn't gone too bad, he told himself. He yawned and smiled, feeling his eyes get tired.

He got up and brushed his teeth before going to bed again, laying there for a while with a strange feeling on the inside. He brushed it away as pure happiness, a rather rare thing he felt. For once, he actually looked forward to the next day.

* * *

Ok, people. thanks for the reviews, but please review and tell me what you think of this chapter too!

Next chapter will involve fluff.!


	4. Chapter 4

Hiaaa! So for that guest anon that said that Berwald seemed a bit OOC, It stands in the description that this story will have OOC'nes. It's just a way of making things flow easier. Hope that's okay (thanks for not being a dick about it when you said it :D ) I'LL LET YOU READ THE CHAPTER NOW.

* * *

The next day, Mathias woke up to a full on blizzard. The wind was making the house creak and it made the lights in the house flicker. He decided to use warm clothes for the day, not wanting to get a cold. He took on a pair of blackish jeans, and a warm white and black patterned wool sweater. He guessed he looked pretty stylish, but that wasn't bad once in a while either.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he could see that his black-eye had faded even more during the night. His wounds usually didn't heal that fast, but maybe this time was an exception…or it could be the fact that Henrikk hadn't beaten him again and made the wound worse?

He tried to smile wide, feeling a dull pain under his eye. The pain was duller than it had been the day before and he barely noticed it. Maybe luck really was on his side?

He grabbed his blue bag that sure enough was stuffed with his gym clothes and his black jogging shoes before he walked down the stairs and went for breakfast. Later when it was time to go, he took on his red and black jacket, hoping that the wind wasn't too bad.

First, he had been wrong, and the wind almost blew him over when he took his first step outside. Second, it was ass cold outside, and he was very glad that he had taken on warm clothes and three, Mathilda fell when she walked downwards to the bus stop and he couldn't help but to laugh.

When they both were at the bus stop, Mathias guessed it was another five or ten minutes left till the bus actually arrived, plenty of time for him to talk with Berwald. He smiled at the thought and waited, soon enough seeing the familiar shape appear further away.

He greeted the Swede with a smile, and sure enough, Berwald smiled back.

The Swede was the first one to say hi.

Mathias tried his best not to sound too excited when he said 'hi' back, but to be honest to himself; he pretty much failed to do that.

Both stood there silently for a while adjusting their bags and Mathias dragged his jacket further up so the wind wouldn't manage to freeze him completely.

"So, did you manage to unpack all the boxes last night?" Mathias asked. He knew he had looked forwards to talking with Berwald, but now that he was there, there wasn't much interesting things he could think of to talk about.

"ya, they're all empty now" Berwald answered.

"Cool"

Mathias looked down to his shoes, or, tried. The wind was blowing up all the snow that lay on the ground and made it hard so see anything.

"I heard there's a prom on Friday at the bus yesterday" he heard Berwald mumble.

He looked at him, relieved that he didn't have to figure out something new to say.

"Are you going?" Berwald asked.

Mathias looked down again, remembering what he had thought earlier, and hummed.

"I don't think so" he answered.

He saw Berwald's expression turn into a disappointed one and his eyes widen.

"What, you want to go?" he asked.

"Might meet some people there" Berwald answered. He looked like he had confessed the worst thing possible after saying it.

"It would've been nice to already know someone if I go there too" he added.

Mathias lifted his eyebrows at the words. He hadn't really thought Berwald was the type to go to proms and such, and he highly doubted it would be fun, but if Berwald really wanted to go there with a person he knew then he could probably join him.

"I guess I could go there with you if you want to go" he said. He felt weird saying it. He saw Berwald's face light up a bit. For anyone who hadn't been staring directly at his face they wouldn't have been able to see the change in the expression.

He smiled again before he saw his sister make several hand signs behind Berwald's back.

Some of them could be recognized as weird hearts, others were a bit hard to understand and the last sign Mathias had to roll his eyes at because clearly gesturing to him and Berwald having sex was way too childish. Like, it could have been him making those signs with his hands two years ago.

Berwald noticed how Mathias rolled his eyes and followed his gaze and turned around to see Matilda make a much known hand gesture. She stopped making the hand gesture when she noticed Berwald had turned though and turned around rather quickly.

Berwald turned to face Mathias again with a questioning look.

"Just ignore her" Mathias said awkwardly and felt his frozen cheeks warm up a bit.

Berwald grunted in response.

Mathias looked down to his shoes again. For some reason the fact that Berwald had seen Mathilda's hand gestures made him a bit embarrassed.

He heard Berwald shift besides him and later heard the bus stop next to them. The three of them stepped onto the bus and welcomed the warmth with a relieved shudder. Mathias sat down on his usual spot and Berwald sat down next to him. Both stared out into nowhere and listened to the others talk in the back of the bus all the way to the school.

* * *

"So, how was it back in Sweden?" Mathias asked. They were on their way down to the gym hall that lay a couple of hundred meters away from the school.

"It was okay, I guess. " Berwald answered with a deep voice.

"How was your old school?" Mathias continued.

"The school wasn't that different from this one, but it was more dull and grey. You just sort of lost the spirit after a while there. The only difference besides that is that this school is smaller and much, much calmer" Berwald explained.

Mathias hummed and wondered if it even was possible that any school could get more boring than his school. Well, if he thought about it, everything was possible.

"Calmer you say?" he repeated.

Berwald nodded.

"How?"

"There were a lot of bad people at my school, they didn't really affect me much, but some good friends of mine tried to take their own life because of the things they did to them" Berwald told him.

Mathias moped. There hadn't been anyone attempting suicide at his school before, and back in Sweden that was a normal thing?

Berwald paused for a while before he calmly started to talk again.

"People used to call me things too though, because they thought I looked frightening"

"What kind of things?"

"Bad things" Berwald said expressionless.

"Anyway…So far I haven't heard of anyone beating up people every day or such things like that here" he continued.

Mathias looked down at the asphalt, feeling a slight stinging in his chest.

"The only bullies I've seen here is Henrikk" Berwald added. He wasn't sure if he was right though, and it could be that the thing between Henrikk and Mathias was more serious than he thought, but as far as he knew, they had only had one fight that had been to Henrikk' favor.

The conversation ended and as they walked and something caught Mathias's eye, or, someone to be more precisely. Lucas and his brother Emil that were walking up from the gym and that probably were heading for their next class was just about to pass them. In the crook of his eye, Mathias could see that they gave him long stares and wondering looks.

He looked to Berwald and wondered exactly how much drama there had been at his old school. He felt like his problems were only microscopic in compared to the ones Berwald's old friends must have had. Suddenly he felt so small.

They both walked silently towards the hall. The wind had calmed down a bit and fresh snow was lying on the ground. Behind the two walking teens, there could be seen footprints, one pair big and another pair a tiny bit smaller.

When the two teens entered the wardrobe there was no one there. Mathias knew by experience that it was because most of the boys were slow on their way down to the gym. Before he started to drop gym classes he always used to be first down in the wardrobe to change, and he was also the first to enter the hall. That way, no one could get him without the teacher seeing it. Later he just found out that just keeping away from the gym hall itself took less effort.

Now that the wardrobe was empty if you didn't count Berwald, Mathias didn't feel as threatened as he would have if there were others there, but there was one problem. His body wasn't scar free and he definitely didn't want Berwald to see the scars, if he did, he would think he was a freak or he would worry.

He had always known of the effects of self-harm. Scars, bruises, permanent mental wounds was what it gained you, that was why he had stopped a while ago, but none the less, the scars still remained.

He heard Berwald unzip his bag and quickly unzipped his too. If he changed fast enough, Berwald wouldn't be able to see the scars he had on his thighs, right?

He quickly took off his pants and sweater, before he hurriedly took on his gym clothes. When he turned around to see if Berwald was done, he still stood there trying to get his pants off.

He guessed Berwald didn't mind other people seeing him in only his underwear. Still, he wanted Berwald to hurry. Even if the risk of Berwald seeing his scars were gone, the risk of Henrikk or the others entering the wardrobe became bigger by the minute.

Mathias sat down on one of the benches that were attached to the wall and decided to tie his shoes. He made an ordinary loop knot and doubled it; his shoelaces were always a bit too long for his liking.

While he was knotting, his gaze slowly moved upwards and towards the Swede. He wasn't staring with intension, it just sort of happened and… Berwald was indeed strong built. He wasn't buff or anything like that. He didn't have too much muscle, but not too little either. He somehow looked like those men in the dirty magazines he hid under his pillow, only a bit younger.

He saw Berwald take something out of his bag, a gym shorts. He studied the dark blue piece of fabric while he took it on, finding it to be very similar to his red one if you didn't count the color. He then studied the Swede's chest for a while, before a white sweatshirt came in the way.

"You ready to go?" He heard Berwald say.

Mathias's eyes snapped up and meet Berwald's. For a second he was sure he had to ask Berwald to repeat what he had said, because he hadn't paid attention at all, though Berwald pointed towards the exit door that lead to the gym and he quickly understood what he had meant.

Mathias stood up, not sure if he had a visible blush or not.

Just as they left the room a known laugh could be heard further down. At that instant, Mathias felt that stinging pain in his chest again. He had never thought it could get so bad, but the laugh just drilled into him and reminded him of all those times Henrikk had beat him up.

As he had guessed, the shit-face itself walked past them seconds later and he had to restrain himself from hiding behind Berwald like a wussy.

"You okay?" he heard Berwald say. He felt a hand touch his shoulder in a comforting manner, but the sensation of it made him jolt a bit.

"I'm okay, it's just…" he stopped mid-sentence, wondering what he should say. Should he say anything at all, or should he shut up?

"It's not something you should worry about" He finally answered. Berwald had just moved to the place, and already now was he being presented to drama. It just didn't feel right to him; at least he could try to not drag Berwald further into it, he thought.

"c'm on, there's obviously something that bothers you" Berwald mumbled. He had his suspicions, but was it so that Henrikk was such a douche to Mathias that it made him scared whenever he walked past him or talked?

"I'm not really comfortable talking about it" Mathias said. He felt horrible saying it, but it was the truth. He tried to drag on a fake smile, as reassuring Berwald that he was okay.

Berwald only watched as the Dane smiled one of his charming smiles again, finding it slightly annoying. He really wasn't a big fan of secrets, and especially not when it was about people he found interesting. They entered the gym hall in silence, soon finding it to be filled with other students.

When the rest of the class was ready and the students had positioned themselves in one big line, the gym teacher whistled loudly to get everyone's attention, which in matter of fact wasn't that easy.

Mathias noticed that it wasn't their usual teacher, so he guessed it was either going to be a very easy gym class, or a very hard one. The teacher was male, tall, had broad shoulders and almost white hair. He also looked very pale.

"Okay, so you guys have probably never seen me here before, and let's make it clear I'm only here because your usual gym teacher is sick. The only thing you need to know about me is that my name is Braginski!" the substitute bellowed.

Mathias listened to the guy's accent, finding it even funnier than Berwald's. By the sounds of it, he guessed the guy was originally from Russia.

"Now, because I am also sick **and** very lazy, you guys will have a very easy class today!" Braginski continued.

Most of the people in the class cheered, but it could also be heard whines from the sport freaks in the class.

"Shush!" Braginski yelled. The whole class silenced again.

"Now, the tasks you have today are very easy. I will pair you up two and two and then I'll tell you what we are going to do" he explained.

Mathias looked to his left side, knowing Berwald stood next to him; he really hoped he and Berwald would be paired up. He saw Berwald turn to look at him too.

Braginski began to pair up people, and luckily enough, Mathias and Berwald got paired up together.

"Now, if I can get everyone's attention!" Braginski started again. The students had a bad habit of starting to chit chat the second the teacher turned his back at them.

"We are now going to test our trust to each other!" he exclaimed.

Some students looked like living questions; others mumbled something to the person next to them.

"We are going to do a trust test" Braginski added.

"Just spread around in the hall, get some space between you and the other pairs" he said, making several hand gestures while speaking.

Mathias and Berwald quickly follow orders, and soon enough they found themselves standing next to a couple of futons that were used by the gymnastic athletes. Above them it hung a couple of gymnastic rings.

Mathias waited for a while before he goofily stretched out his arms and looked at the awkwardly standing Swede.

"Fall" was his simple command.

Berwald looked at him with an unusually strict expression.

"What… You want me to fall first?" Mathias asked.

Berwald grunted and Mathias lifted an eyebrow. He found it a bit weird when Berwald replaced a 'yes' or a 'no' with a grunt, but he guessed it was because he tried to hide his accent. Not that it was anything wrong with Berwald's accent.

Mathias turned his back to the Swede, saying a silent 'okay'

He waited a while before letting himself fall, feeling a slight tingling in his stomach when he did. He soon enough found himself landing in Berwald's arms.

He felt Berwald push him up and turned around to stretch his arms out so he could fall too.

Berwald just stared at his open arms.

Mathias waited for a while before turning inpatient. Why wouldn't he just fall already?

"What, you've never done this before or something?" Mathias asked a bit annoyed.

"I hav' done it before, I just don't like it…" the Swede answered, he crossed his arms and looked away with a slight blush.

Mathias stood there for a few seconds before snickering.

"You got to be kidding me… what's so wrong about this? I'll catch you without trouble you know" Mathias exclaimed. He felt a need to pat the Swede's shoulder, but retrained from doing it.

Berwald looked like he was progressing the words, or maybe he had some weird flashback that had something to do with it?… Mathias smiled. Either way, it was still hilarious. He didn't exactly like to throw himself backwards into another person's arms either, but at least he wasn't scared of it.

"Why are you so against it?" the Dane asked.

Berwald looked at him with a stern expression for a few seconds, before it softened and became friendlier.

"I and Tino used to do it all the time when we were little…but one day we decided to do it on a harbor and since I was taller than him he didn't manage to hold my weight and we both fell over..." Berwald started.

Mathias grinned. "That's it?"

"None of us could swim at the time, so it was more serious than you might think" Berwald answered.

Mathias mouthed an 'oh' and dropped his smile.

"So, what happened next?" he asked with his smile still glued on to the face.

"A couple in their mid-thirties saw us fall over and ran to help us but Tino was unconscious when we got in shore" Berwald explained.

There was a short silence between the two. Mathias was trying to come up with something to say and Berwald just stood there awkwardly.

"Well…uh" Mathias started.

"That's not going to happen now" He mumbled.

Berwald sighted and Mathias stepped closer, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, I'm more than capable of supporting your weight, I mean, you can't be _that_ much heavier than me, we're basically the same height and have exactly the same body size!" he started. He saw Berwald's expression grow lighter.

"And there's no water here either so you can just take that argument out on the country" He added. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for the Swede to respond.

Berwald's lips curled up into a smile and Mathias grinned.

"Now, come on, let me catch you" Mathias said. He stepped back a few steps and lowered himself, flinging his arms out in a goofy manner as if presenting the Swede to a crowd of people. Mathias had really missed being able to goof around with people in that way.

Berwald looked around himself before slowly turning his back to Mathias. Just a few meters away he could see Henrikk step away from one of his falling friends, letting him fall down on the floor. He guessed Henrikk really was a douche by nature.

"I'm not going to do it as Henrikk does it, okay" he heard Mathias say behind him, just like he knew he had been looking at him.

Berwald took a deep breath, before he finally let himself fall backwards. Only half a second later, he felt Mathias's arms catch him. As Mathias had told him, he was capable of supporting his weight and he even softened his downfall and made it feel comfortable.

That wasn't so bad.

Mathias smiled and held Berwald in his arms.

"I told you I would catch you" he remarked

"mh', your turn." Berwald responded. Mathias pushed him back up and turned his back against Berwald.

He waited until he heard Berwald signalize that it was okay for him to fall and as soon as he had heard it, he let himself fall into Berwald's arms.

He felt Berwald step back a bit, but nothing indicated that he had trouble holding him. He pushed himself up and gestured to Berwald that it was his turn to fall again.

They continued like that for a few minutes and after half an hour they were both joking and having fun. Mathias had even managed to get Berwald to fall over one of the futons twice. He had seen a few members of the class stare at them, but they probably just wondered how a guy like Berwald could joke and laugh that much. To be honest, Mathias wondered how anybody could find Berwald scary or boring.

"Okay, okay, so imagine this-"Mathias stood behind Berwald, covering his eyes.

"You're at the harbor, and you're standing with your back to the sea-"

Berwald made a grunt, trying to adjust his glasses that were getting pushed askew by Mathias's hands.

"-And right now, in this second, you let yourself fall" Mathias added. He guided Berwald towards the futon, lightly pushing him.

"yeah, rig't" Berwald mumbled, smiling as he grabbed Mathias's hand tightly, pushing him in front of him and pushing him down on the futon.

Mathias whined as he landed.

Berwald: 1, Mathias: 0

As Mathias was about to drag Berwald down with him, a loud whistle could be heard.

"Class is over, go to your wardrobes!" Braginski yelled gently.

Berwald stretched out a hand, gesturing for Mathias to grab it. The Dane smiled widely, accepting the offer and letting Berwald help him up.

Walking towards the wardrobe, Mathias jokingly jabbed Berwald in the ribs several times. He had found out that, in matter of fact, the Swede was ticklish. He didn't know what was the funniest. The fact that Berwald actually giggled when he did it or the fact that such a serious guy could break out into laughter so quickly.

Berwald would have thought it was annoying if it wasn't for the fact that it was the Dane that was doing it. Mathias was an energy source bigger than most, so he let that pass as an excuse. For some reason, it didn't really bother him either, so that was his second excuse.

As most of the male students went to the showers in the wardrobe, Mathias quickly grabbed his bag and snuck in to the toilet. He used to do that before too, hiding his scars and such. He never wanted anyone to see them, and especially not Berwald. When he was done changing and had sprayed himself with deodorant that smelled like a mixture of strawberries and raspberry he looked himself in the mirror. He saw the childish smile he had and tried to change it into a frown, but he couldn't.

Seconds later he left and tried not to peek too much at Berwald when he was waiting, but how couldn't he? When the bags were packed and Berwald was ready to go, they finally left the wardrobe. Mathias breathed out relieved when he felt the cold winter air creep down his jacket and looked at Berwald by his side, feeling a sort of tingling in his tummy.

* * *

: So, guys thanks for reading this chapter, I hope everyone likes what they are reading. Please review and tell me what you think about this so far

Next chapter: will be more detailed and about what the characters think. Oh, and also we are getting closer to the "big" prom day! what could possibly happen there!?


	5. Chapter 5

Mathias flung himself down on the bed, face towards the ceiling. He made a weak sound of distress, putting his hands up to hold his own head. The words 'no, no, no, no, no' repeated over and over in his mind. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. How could it have happened, he screamed inside his head.

He knew that feeling he had gotten when he had walked out of the gym. He knew it _too_ well. Last time he had felt like that, it had destroyed him from the inside and out. I had torn at him, kept him awake during long nights, and ate him up. It had mentally ruined him.

When he had realized what the feeling was, he had silenced, stopped talking. He tried to ignore it, telling himself that it wasn't real; it was just a trick his mind played him. But it wasn't. He realized that when he had told Berwald 'good bye' before walking, no, running up the hill to his house.

He had thrown his bag away in the hallway, ignored Mathilda's calls.

He didn't want to feel like this again. Last time he had felt like this, it had been torture worse than he could have imagined.

He felt a tear run down his cheek, before he hastily wiped it away. This was no time for crying, he thought.

He wondered what it would be like now. Would it be easier, or would it be worse? He felt the stinging pain in his chest again, something indicating that it was going to be worse. Would he be able to go through it all once again?

He remembered saying that he would go to the prom with Berwald, but right now, it felt like the stupidest thing he could have ever said. He wondered why he always had to fall in love with someone at the worst time possible.

He bet that if he went there, he would fall even more for the guy. He cursed himself. When other people fell in love, they felt good most of the time, right, but not him. He felt awful. He hated it, knew that it wasn't going to happen anyway, him and Berwald. And if it did, he would never hear the end of it; more comments thrown at him, harsher beatings. He could have continued the list, but he didn't want to. He already knew what it would gain him.

He needed so desperately not to let that feeling dig deeper into him. He wasn't going to let his feelings towards Berwald turn into more than friendship. Even if it turned out to him that Berwald wanted to, something he highly doubted, he would get to taste the cons of it too. It wouldn't end well, even if both of them wanted it.

Mathias felt another tear run down his cheek. He was so stupid. How could he have let it happen?

At the same time, Berwald was sitting with his laptop in his lap, going through page after page with different pictures of suits.

It was a bit weird to him, the fact that he had actually dared ask someone out to a prom after only knowing him for one day or so. He had never dared to do that back in Sweden, even if there was no one interesting to ask. But even so, he had thought that, this is my chance, and the guy had answered yes. He was actually slightly proud of himself.

He felt his cheeks warm up a bit.

There was only a slight problem with the matter though. Because, even if Mathias was going with him, he didn't know that he meant it romantically. He just thought they were going as friends or as acquaintances. That would be a problem, Berwald thought. He should have just said it as it was, but how could he?

He furrowed his eyebrows for a second, remembering Mathias's weird behavior after they went out of the gym. It could be that he behaved like that every now and then and that it was normal, but to him, people suddenly getting much quieter than usual wasn't normal. Was it something he had said, or done? He shook it away, deciding that if the Dane behaved like that tomorrow too, he would bring it up and simply ask if something was wrong.

He adjusted his glasses as he clicked into a page that showed how he could look _more_ decent in a suit. He didn't want to hide it; he was going to at least try to charm the guy as much as Mathias had charmed him with his smile and laugh.

* * *

The next day, everything was quiet. Mathias didn't say much to him at the bus stop and neither at the school.

He tried to bring it up several times, but during the classes, he didn't get enough time to get to the point. That was until they were able to work in pairs during math class. Others talked about the next day, the big prom day, but Mathias was determined to work on the homework. Berwald let it pass for a while, until he noticed that Mathias literally sucked at math and that he was far too unfocused to actually work on it. His gaze was anywhere else than on him or the homework. Most of the time, it wandered towards Henrikk or the other guys that hung around him or outside the window.

Mathias's pencil was making numerous small circles on the notepad, unnecessary circles to be more precise. The Dane was wasting time.

Berwald had seen the Café that was just down the street there too, but he doubted watching the people going in and out the door there was as interesting as Mathias's looks had it to be.

He leant forward to get closer to Matias and snatched his pencil. The Dane whined childishly and for the first time during the whole day, he actually looked at Berwald for more than a second. He tried to take his pencil back, but Berwald only stretched his hand away.

"Hey, dude, get it back" Mathias whined.

"No"

"why not"

"Because we need t' talk" the Swede replied. He adjusted his glasses and furrowed his eyebrows, looking sternly at Mathias. Mathias leant back, surprised.

"You going to tell me what's up all of a sudden?" he asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about" he replied, stuttering slightly at the end of the sentence.

"I think you _do_ know wh't I'm talking abo't" the Swede remarked. He tried to stare Mathias down, tried to make him talk.

On the other side Mathias was having a sort of mental break down, all those thoughts were flying through his head, making him more and more nervous, almost anxious. He couldn't tell what was going on, he had to tell him something else, but what!?

He practically felt Berwald stare, and it made him much more skittish than he liked.

"F- fine…" he started, sure he would be able to come up with some kind of lie that would haul him out of the trouble.

Berwald's expression lightened, making him seem less intimidating.

"I'm just a bit… nervous" Mathias said. He really didn't know what to tell the guy, but he figured he was going the right direction by the looks of it.

"Why" Berwald asked.

Mathias felt himself die a bit on the inside. He couldn't get himself to say it. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to figure out something to say, but he just couldn't. He felt like his hauling plan had failed miserably. He damned himself.

After almost a minute of silence, Berwald calmly leant back.

While Mathias was still trying to figure out what to say, he took his notebook , slowly but surely starting to solve the tasks that Mathias had written down but hadn't manage to solve. After a while he noticed that the Dane relaxed a bit and he started to tell Mathias how he solved the tasks, not really sure if he was listening or not. After merely a few minutes, Mathias was leaning over to see how he solved them. The Dane had relaxed completely by then and didn't mind the fact that their shoulders were touching.

Every now and then he would look to the side and see how intense Berwald's eyes really were, how soft his hair looked like. He would feel his heart flutter a bit at the thought and feel his cheeks warm up.

During the whole class, Berwald calmly told Mathias what to do. He even dared to hold Mathias's pencil while the Dane himself was holding it too to guide him. During the times they solved a task, he could go as far as trying to talk about the prom too. He was pretty sure he was blushing, cursed himself for it too, even if it didn't matter. It was a long shot, but he was almost holding Mathias's hand.

If both had turned around at that moment, they would have seen the disgusted expression Henrikk made.

His gaze fell on Berwald, the one who was keeping him from having his daily _fun _with Mathias. It had only been for a few days. But oh, how it pissed him of to see Mathias in any other condition than miserable and broken. Berwald had been a damn stupid bitch for not hanging around with _him _instead of Mathias. It was pathetic, how could anyone chose Mathias over him?!

He yearned for beating Mathias again, needed it, but Berwald was in the way and he didn't want to try on anyone who could actually think of standing up to themselves. He could feel how after only two days without beating that jerk he felt like he was going to lose his mind. He needed to get Mathias alone, away from Berwald.

He saw the way Mathias looked at Berwald and grimaced. It was disgusting, really. How could anyone smile so much to someone they had just met? He felt himself get sick again and just as he did, a beautiful plan came up in his mind. He snickered as he turned away.

When Mathias came home that day, he didn't throw his bag away in the hallway or throw himself down on the bed. He gently put his bag down on the floor in his room and calmly sat down in front of his computer desk. He chatted with Berwald on his laptop about different things.

He knew Berwald still wanted to know what was wrong, but he couldn't do anything else but to let him wait. He was glad the Swede didn't bring it back up chatting with him. Then he could concentrate on more important things… or… He _tried_ to do his homework as Berwald had showed him, but the only thing he managed to put down on the paper was tiny doodles and hearts. Not as artistic as he wanted, but they were hearts anyway.

Last time he was in love, he hadn't had any feeling like this. Now he had butterflies in his tummy and felt giddy, completely free for any thoughts that could even get close to destructive or heartbreaking ones.

He was shading one of the poorly drawn hearts when his sister peeked through the door.

"How's it going, Romeo?" she teased.

Mathias jolted a bit and leant his arm over the drawing so she wouldn't see it, blushing as he did.

"Leave" he muttered. He saw Mathilda's smile grow.

"Just popping by to tell you that mom said we have room for two more in the car tomorrow…if Romeo has planned to take Juliet to the prom I mean" she said, lifting her eyebrows.

"I doubt Romeo ever did that" Mathias responded strictly. He had never read the books and really hoped he wasn't wrong.

"Well aren't you a sunshine"

Mathias hummed, trying to ignore her.

"Should I tell mom that you're going?" She asked after a while.

He took a deep breath and leant back abruptly, studying the screen before of him.

"Yes" he breathed.

Mathilda smiled even wider, trying to peek over his arm so she could see the drawing, when she finally managed, she giggled and walked away.

Mathias murmured something under his breath, something about his sister being a creepy lady and such things.

He looked down at his drawings; studying the crappy pieces of marks and illustrations… he made a sound of disapproval, feeling honest to God stupid for getting so strong feelings for a guy he had barely known for two days.

He looked at his laptop screen. A question popped up in the message chart.

"_What color is your suit?"_

Mathias looked to his closet, knowing that his fancy black suit would be good enough for the night. He would definitely use that one, most preferably with one of his dark red shirts below his suit jacket.

He moved his hands over the keyboard, quickly writing "_black with a red shirt under… You?"_

"_Black with a blue shirt under_"

Mathias smiled childishly.

"_Err… My mom insisted on driving me and my sister to the prom, each of us with one friend so… do you want to be that friend?"_ He typed.

"_Sure, that'd be great_"

Mathias stared at the message, tapping the pencil he held in his hand slowly. There was no way he would manage to get all the butterflies he had in his tummy away till the next day. No way.

He looked outside the window, noticing the sun peeking down at the earth. It shone inside his room, enlightening it.

* * *

Sorry, this is a short one, but it's better than nothing I hope. Anyway. THANK YOU GUYS SO FUDING MUCH FOR ALL THE POSITIVE REVIEWS! I can almost not believe it.

Next chapter: THE BIG PROM DAY! And something more!? I guess you have to wait to find out.

But as always- REVIEW, REVIEW AND REVIEW!


	6. Chapter 6

Trigger warning: This chapter involves sexual assault.

* * *

The car trip to the prom was silent, consisting of only the low sound of music from the radio and every now and then a few words from Mathilda. She was talking to one of her girlfriends though, so Mathias didn't need to answer or talk back. Bella was the name of the friend he guessed. He remembered her as a pretty silent and creepy girl, but now it seemed like she was quite talkative. His placement in the car made it a bit hard for him to see how she looked as Berwald was sitting in the middle seat and she at the window, so he didn't really bother to look. Mathilda, the lucky ass, was sitting in the front with her mother, but he didn't mind tonight. He enjoyed sitting next to Berwald far better. Berwald who wore that suit of his so good it had blown him away when he first had seen it.

He wouldn't have thought a piece of clothing could have amazed him so much earlier, but now he could write it down in a book that, yes, a piece of clothing could amaze him _that_ much. He himself had slicked his hair back to look more decent. A few hair strands were poking out a few places, but it was better than nothing. Also, his black-eye had faded so much you could barely see it!

"You look good" Berwald had said. Mathias had just stood there, accepting the compliment silently. He almost had to look away so he wouldn't blush. That would have been embarrassing. He had tried to tell Berwald the same, thousands of times, but he knew telling someone they looked good too many times was awkward.

He looked out the window, seeing snow lightly fall down. He guessed it would be a clear night sky later, seeing as the clouds were starting to disappear more and more.

"You guys have a nice time tonight!" His mom said before she drove off, leaving the four teenagers outside the prom hall.

They stood there, taking in the sight of their lame gym hall redecorated as a party premise. Mathilda and Bella walked in first, leaving the two boys alone.

Berwald nudged Mathias in the side, leaning close.

"It's a great improvement from what it looked like yesterday" he said.

Mathias dragged on a smile, agreeing. He looked to the door, feeling numerous of feelings rush through him. The one who made itself the most known was nervousness though. He could feel that more than all of the other feelings. Why he was nervous, he didn't know. He guessed it was pure stupidity, his brain doing tricks on him. Berwald hinted for them to walk in and he took in the cold winter air to his lungs in a deep inhale as he followed the Swede in.

Everything went in slow-motion as he walked in, the red and blue lights that were blinking, the laughs and the loud music, the dancing people; everything. He wondered how Berwald felt, did he feel like everything went slow-motion like?

The dim light in the hall made it a bit hard to see clearly, but he followed the Swede to the many tables that were occupied by teens. Luckily enough they found their own table not too far away from his sister and the other girl, Bella.

All the tables were decorated with two candles that somewhat lit up the area around the table a bit. It created a cozy atmosphere.

The few grownups who had been given the hellish task to watch over them during the evening was few of whom Mathias cared for, but he recognized Braginski and Kristen. They were chatting it seemed like, Braginski even made Kristen laugh.

Mathias looked at Berwald after watching them for a while, studying the Swede and his fucking beautiful as hell appearance.

"yer starin'" Berwald mumbled.

"Sorry, I just… you look really good, that's all" Mathias replied, smiling and breathing a laugh.

The Swede smiled at the compliment.

For half an hour, the only thing they did was talk and watch other people dance. Time after time Mathias saw his little sister get asked to dance by cocky classmates, but he guessed she didn't think they looked duchy, cause she said yes all the time and happily took they boys' hands.

By the looks of it, there weren't enough grownups to watch over them, because it looked like some guys were mixing alcohol or vodka of some sort into the drinks. This was a no-alcohol party one could say and he knew that if some grownups caught the guys during the act, they would get some real trouble. Some of the guys already looked smashed, a nice evidence.

He himself hadn't drunk too much alcohol during the years, but he already knew he could hold his liquor better than most. He wondered; how did Berwald react to it? As far as he knew, the rules around alcohol were stricter in Sweden. A sudden urge to know how the Swede reacted to the stuff flew over him.

"I'll go get some drinks for us" he finally informed and stood up. Berwald only nodded and continued to watch the people dance and listen to the music. It almost looked like he wanted to join them, Mathias thought.

He stood there for a while, judging whether or not if he should actually take from the drinks with alcohol in them. He had watched pretty closely, and he knew which of them that had alcohol in them, but the question was; how much? Mixed out with the other stuff, one could never know how strong the drinks would actually be. Mathias knew it was a bad thing in general, to mix stuff into drinks without people knowing. He looked back to Berwald. He guessed one drink with alcohol wouldn't be too much for the guy.

He took two drinks, sipping from one of them on the way back, letting the fruity taste linger on his tongue for a few seconds.

"Here"

He gave Berwald the drink as he sat down, smiling. Just before the Swede was about to take a sip from it though, he cleared his throat.

"uhh, there's actually a bit of alcohol in these…just so you know" he informed nervously.

Berwald looked down at the liquor in the glass that was at his lips for a second, before silently taking a sip anyway.

"You don't mind?" Mathias looked at him a bit surprised, biting his lip and watching as the Swede tasted the drink.

"Need to experience s'm'thing new every once in a wh'le anyway" Berwald responded when he was done drinking, dead serious.

Mathias hummed, still pretty amazed. He slowly stared to laugh, taking another sip from his own drink.

Four drinks and half an hour later, they were discussing the matter of how stupid the ones dancing looked. The music had been turned up to a volume that made it a bit hard to hear what the other was saying, but it didn't bother them.

"I want to be stupid with them" Mathias slurred, trying to get some air after a serious laughing. Berwald adjusted his glasses, laughing too. He felt a bit dizzy, guessing it was the alcohol that did it.

Suddenly, someone dragged a chair to their table and sat down next to them without a warning. The person lazily slumped down and leant over the table, probing himself up with his hand. It was Lucas.

"How's it going Mathias?" he asked loudly.

Berwald looked baffled and looked at the Dane, wondering who it was.

"Fine…Why you asking?" Mathias answered loudly back, a bit baffled too.

"Just wanted to tell you that Mathilda went off with Henrikk" Lucas answered stone faced.

"WHAT?!" Mathias turned around abruptly, looking for his precious sister. He hadn't seen Henrikk around, but no way was she going away with that uncultured swine and shame of the nature.

"Relax, I was just kidding" Lucas informed, snickering.

"Ha-ha… really funny" Mathias replied sarcastically, slowly turning around again, realizing the danger was false. He had almost gotten a heart-attack, he was sure.

"Who are you?" Berwald asked feeling a bit offended for not being introduced.

"Oh-"

Lucas turned to the Swede, eyeing him and then offering his hand.

"I'm Lucas…. Old friend of Mathias" He explained. Mathias rolled his eyes. What was his reason for sitting down here anyway?

Berwald nodded, saying his name and etc. Berwald and Lucas began to talk a bit, but Mathias only looked narrowly at Lucas, feeling honestly a bit frustrated and annoyed.

"Why are you here?" he interrupted.

Lucas who was in the middle of a sentence looked strictly at him, not too pleased with being interrupted. He leant over the table again, suddenly changing expression to a more calm looking one, almost worried. He waited for a moment, looking Mathias deep into the eyes.

He opened his mouth, but hesitated.

"Watch out for yourself tonight, okay?" He finally muttered, leaning back after a few seconds. Mathias only stared confused. _What?_

Lucas then stood up and suddenly his usual stone face was back. He waved a goodbye and walked off towards the drinks that had grown quite popular during the still pretty young evening.

"Wh't was that about?" Berwald asked, just as confused as the Dane.

Mathias shrugged, wordless. He had no idea. He knew Lucas had used to be a bit random at times before, but not like that… maybe he had chugged down too many drinks?

Mathilda suddenly showed up and sat down at the chair Lucas had used earlier. Her girlfriend Bella was standing behind her.

"Guys, we all need to find partners **now**, they arranged a dance everyone needs to join!" She informed, smiling.

"huh?"

Mathias turned to see numbers of people and classmates gather on the dance floor, pairing up two and two. Mathilda grabbed his hand and dragged him up to the dance floor before he knew the word of it. While being dragged he turned to see Berwald get escorted by Bella.

"What kind of dance?" He asked loudly.

"Ordinary waltz where we change partners and stuff" She informed happily.

"what, but I suck at waltz!"

"Shush!"

She fixed on his posture, holding him firmly.

"yer going to be my partner for the first round, kay?" She said, ignoring his whine.

Mathias looked for Berwald, finding him to be paired with Bella as he had suspected.

Shortly after the classic music began and he had to really concentrate to not step on his sister. They danced in circles in a fast speed that was almost too much for the little experienced Mathias. Just when he had gotten a grip on it, he caught Berwald's stare. He looked like he had much more control on what he was doing.

Well… at least he was now one of the stupid people out on the dance floor, he thought.

He held his sister's waist, finding the red dress she wore quite fitting, but he wouldn't say that out loud.

He tried to follow here steps, one step to the side, and one step forwards, repeat and repeat. He hated waltz, it was so monotone.

"Now girls, find a new boy!" a voice said out of nowhere.

He felt Mathilda slip away and he stood there alone looking confused, wondering what had happened. Bella took over and he formed an "oh" with his mouth. They had changed partners.

Bella had switched with Mathilda it seemed, because Mathilda was now gripping tight on to Berwald.

The music started again and he tried to keep up with Bella and the monotone music but suddenly every male on the dance floor lifted up their partners and he desperately tried to follow in suit, realizing they were supposed to do that every time the violin made a high note.

He looked at Bella, who was only tall enough to reach his shoulders, with a strict face. She was wearing a bow on her head. Cute thing, he thought a second. He bet she was popular around the boys.

The violin made a high note again and he lifted her up, actually seeing her lips curl up into a smile. Mathias knew that was a rare thing, so he guessed he wasn't that bad at dancing.

He looked to the side, seeing Mathilda smile widely.

The violin made a high note and he lifted her up, watching Mathilda and Berwald. Berwald seemed to be enjoying the dance. He felt a hint of jealousy strike him.

"Now boys find a boy and girls find a girl!" the voice said.

This dance was going way too quick, the Dane thought, getting highly confused again. He was again left alone and stood there wondering what to do, suddenly feeling someone grab his hand. It was Berwald.

The Swede firmly placed his hand on his hip and pressed closer, taking the lead because Mathias seemed confused. Mathias yelped lowly, not sure where to place his other hand that wasn't occupied with Berwald's. The Swede quickly led his hand to his own hip, placing it there. Now Mathias had one hand on Berwald's hip, and Berwald had one placed on Mathias's.

Mathias looked to their connected hands, feeling the Swede's unnatural warmth. It took him a second to realize what he was actually doing.

"I'll lead" Berwald said.

Mathias ripped his eyes away from their connected hands, looking questioningly at him. He hadn't heard what he had said.

He took a deep breath before the music started to play again. He saw the way the light reflected in the Swede's glasses. Looking past, he could see Berwald's intense stare. Again with that? he sort of started to feel like the Swede was staring with such intensity on purpose. It made him shiver and he looked away.

Suddenly he felt the taller man's hand tighten around his waist as he heard the high note from the violin. Seconds later, he felt himself get lifted up from the ground. He yelped, loudly, but no one noticed except him and Berwald.

Around in the hall he could hear numerous of people laugh, not because of him, but because of the pure stupidity of lifting each other up in the air. He laughed too, seeing Berwald's lips curl up into a smile. He felt a dangerous laugh come his way, so dragging Berwald to the side he had to sit down a second to not laugh himself to death. Around in the hall several other classmates did the same. Lots of people laughed just because they were embarrassed to lift up someone of the same gender.

He laughed loudly and Berwald and down next to him, laughing too. It took a while before he managed to collect himself, and around that time, he found Berwald staring again.

Suddenly feeling a need to go to a place where it was less crowded and easier to talk, he stood up and pointed towards the hallway.

"Care to join me?" He asked.

"Sure"

Mathias led the way to the hallway, knowing exactly where to go to get to a place more silent. He turned to another direction than the exit way. As they walked through the long hallway the sound of music faded, shortly after the only sound that could be heard the clacking from three pairs of shoes.

"Where are we going?" Berwald asked. He looked around himself. He hadn't been to this part of the school yet, had he? The dizziness was starting to get a bit stronger, but he followed anyway, waiting for Mathias's answer.

"Somewhere silent" Mathias laughed nervously. Why was he nervous? Why did he laugh? He didn't know.

After a while they reached the end of the hallway and Mathias stopped in front of the metallic door. He pressed the button that was connected to the door and waited. The door made a click and slowly opened, making a slight creaking as it did.

Berwald felt a cold wind slide past him.

"The roof?" He asked after a while, looking out and seeing the cloud free sky. The roof was about twenty meters long at this place, only five meters from the door was the edge of it though. He walked forwards, seeing the few people who had walked outside and that were mingling down at the parking lot. It was another roof a few meters away from them, slightly further down.

Mathias brushed away some snow with his hands and sat down, dangling with his legs. He had used to go here during gym class before. It wasn't before now he realized how much he had missed it. He recognized one of the persons down at the parking lot as Jan. the stupid man was smoking.

"I used to go up here and watch people pass by before" He said.

"It's a nice view" he added, looking up at the stars. He had had right about the clear sky thing.

Berwald waited silently for a while before Mathias patted the spot next to him, hinting for him to sit down. The Swede hesitated, but after a few seconds he wiped away the snow and sat down too, looking down at the parking lot. The height from the ground was staggering, almost frightening.

"Do you want to know what happened?" Mathias suddenly asked, looking out into nowhere.

Berwald raised an eyebrow, not really catching the question.

"Why I got no friends" Mathias continued. He surprised himself with the words that came out of his mouth, but for some reason, he didn't mind telling him now. Maybe it was the alcohol?

Berwald nodded a yes. He wondered if this was the reason why the Dane had taken him up to the roof, to actually tell him what had happened.

"I'm gay"

Berwald opened his mouth to say something, but Mathias interrupted him.

"And when people found out or… when Henrikk found out, he and _his_ friends started to throw nasty comments after me and my friends. It was just as expected, that someone would be against it, like there's always that one asshole that is" Mathias breathed a laugh before continuing.

"- But as time passed, it became more violent you know, like, the comments weren't comments anymore, they got replaced with punches to the gut or someplace else. It wasn't something I couldn't handle, I sort of expected it as I told you earlier, but my friends hadn't expected it. They got beaten for just hanging around me, literally nothing would make Henrikk and the others try to beat them or me." He said slowly.

Berwald just nodded, watching intensely without purpose.

Mathias inhaled and breathed out slowly, as if preparing to say something more hard to talk about.

"My friends didn't do anything wrong you know…." He started slowly, changing expression to a sadder one.

"After a while they got enough, and even if they didn't want me to get hurt, they left me… I think, them leaving was the best for them, but it… it hurt me a tiny bit. And then when they weren't around, Henrikk and the others kind of got better access to me, if you understand. They became so much more violent. I've dropped gym classes to not need to be in the wardrobe with them, I've dropped school when they told me they'd kill me if I showed up" He breathed out again, feeling his chest ache.

"At least they haven't done that yet" He breathed.

"That's it…" He told.

He saw Berwald struggle with finding words. Was he going to accept it, the fact that he was gay?

Berwald didn't talk yet. It felt like forever…Why was he so stupid? He shouldn't have told him. Stupid alcohol, he thought. He blamed it on that. He bit his lip and clenched his fists. He was so stupid.

Berwald processed it all. Was that what this thing with him and Henrikk was about, just because he was gay!? It was stupid really, and Henrikk was much more of a dick than he had thought. He looked at Mathias who looked like close to crying, lip quivering and eyelids blinking rapidly. He hadn't expected that and calmly laid a hand on his shoulder. He opened his mouth to tell him it was okay. That he accepted it. Why wouldn't he?!

Just as he was about to let the first word out, a cough could be heard from behind them.

Mathias looked up in true horror, knowing exactly who it was. Something deemed to him, they hadn't heard the door closing, and it had been too silent during the evening. Henrikk hadn't bothered him yet, which meant, something bad was coming. That was why Lucas had told him to watch out for himself, wasn't it?

Just as he turned his head around to face the horror, he saw Berwald's worried gaze.

"Inspiring story you told there" Henrikk slurred. He had a mischievous smile and his "gang" of five stood next to him, some of them even had tiny pocket knives in their hands; three of them to be more precise. They wore Finland caps with two holes to see and one to breathe through, probably to not get recognized, but he did.

Berwald stood up hastily as he laid his eyes on the pocket knives, getting slightly dizzy.

Henrikk looked Mathias directly into the eyes.

"You know, I was planning on just doing this to **_you_, **Mathias. But since this Swede follows you around everywhere, I don't have much of a choice" he said.

"Don't tell me I didn't give you a chance, Berwald" He added, faking a hurt expression as he gave the Swede a glare.

Mathias stood up too, feeling his heart thump quickly in his chest. He had never thought _this_ would happen.

"Grab _him_ guys" Henrikk commanded. He looked at Berwald, and his smile could be seen through the hole around the mouth.

For once in his life, Mathias acted out against what was happening and tried to push them away when they tried to take Berwald, but he didn't success much. One of the taller boys of the gang cut his arm making a huge rift in his suit, and elbowed him in the chin, pushing him away from them. He looked at as Berwald tried to get them off, but getting a knife to the throat, he stopped. Two of the boys held him still, their hair poked through the top of the caps. One was blond and one was dark haired. They were both shorter than Berwald, but the guy threatening him with the knife was just as tall as him. The guy punched him in the face, knocking askew his glasses.

"You'll have the pleasure of witnessing what I'm about to do, Berwald" Henrikk snickered.

Berwald gave him a death glare, trying to look threating, and Henrikk had to admit, he did.

Henrikk guided the two others towards Mathias and the Dane himself couldn't do much else than to stand still. If he moved backwards he would fall down to the parking lot.

"Don't do this" he begged.

"He isn't doing anything wrong" Berwald growled, trying to defend his friend. The guy holding the knife at his throat pressed it closer, saying a harsh "Shut up!" as he did.

The two guys grabbed hold of Mathias and held him still, making sure he wouldn't manage to escape. The one on Matias's left side gave Henrikk his pocket knife and Henrikk thanked him. He stopped in front of Matias, dragging a hand through his own black hair as if getting it away from his fabric covered face.

He twirled the knife around with his fingers, keeping the eye contact.

"I hate you" Mathias hissed, scared for his own life and Berwald's too. What would Henrikk do, cut his throat, stab him?

"I hate you too" Henrikk said. Seconds after, he kicked Mathias in the gut, hard. Mathias felt the air leave his lungs, as the kick had knocked the breath out of him. Henrikk did it again, this time harder. Mathias groaned. He had no words, they had left him.

Henrikk kicked him three more times, by then, Mathias felt like his ribs had been crushed and he felt like crying, but he wouldn't. Not because of this. He struggled with breathing, felt his legs get weak under himself. He sunk together, but the two guys holding him held him up.

Henrikk slapped him in the face, commanding him to look at him. When he did, he saw that sickening smile again. Feeling evil, the black haired teen slid the knife blade over Mathias's cheek, making a shallow yet bleeding wound. He laughed when he saw Mathias flinch in pain.

"You're going to love this, Berwald, if you think it's so right to be gay" he put away the pocket knife, punching the struggling Mathias in the jaw. The blond groaned at the action. His eyes got blurry, and he felt like he was going to faint.

Mathias's eyes widen as Henrikk suddenly grabbed his hair and yanked him backwards, bending him down on his knees. Some of the guys laughed, but Mathias didn't know who. He was terrified. He tried to get away from Henrikk's grip, but got kicked in the gut and jabbed in the jaw again. This time he couldn't hold it and coughed, feeling the metallic taste form in his mouth. His vision darkened, but he still heard what happened.

He heard the sound of pants getting unzipped, felt a pair of cold hands hold his head up, felt his heart beat so hard it hurt, felt his eyes get teary.

"N- No" He knew what was coming, begged Henrikk to stop, and heard Berwald's protests in the background.

"Suck it"

He felt something warm against his lips, tried to turn away from it, but his head was yanked back in place again. He didn't dare look, wanted it to stop.

"Stop-"he tried. But Henrikk pushed his dick against his moth and stopped the word from coming out. He pressed harder, making Mathias choke. He smiled devilishly and laughed. He thrust in, listening to Mathias try to handle it.

"Jeez, how can you _like_ this, Mathias?" he teased, looking down at him, seeing his teary face and pleading eyes. He loved it._ This_ was what he had needed. If he could show Mathias how wrong it felt, maybe he wouldn't be gay anymore.

Mathias felt his chest ache again, felt stupid, awful. He felt a tear run down his cheek and felt a salt sour-ish taste in his mouth.

"HEY YOU GUYS!" A loud, deep, Russian male voice yelled.

Mathias's eyes widen. Henrikk and the others turned, facing the source of the voice.

The Dane felt Henrikk's dick leave his mouth and gasped for air, relieved. He felt the ones holding him let go and fell forwards. He held around his stomach, not knowing why, felt his own breathing get unsteady. He felt the cold snow against his skin, saw a few blood drops fall to the white ground.

He heard someone running and someone yelling. He wanted to know how Berwald was, but couldn't get himself to look. He trembled, felt his eyes get more teary and sobbed.

"Mathias!?" He heard Berwald and his sister say his name at the same time. He felt hands touch him and flinched, tried to get away from it. He knew it was either Berwald's or Mathilda's but it just felt so wrong at the moment. They tried to reassure him and he sobbed again, giving up on struggling. He felt one of them lean him against their chest. He guessed it was Berwald, but didn't think over it. He couldn't hold back anymore and felt the tears come streaming down his face.

"Ah, I lost them; they jumped down to the other roof" Braginski explained. He opened his mouth to say something more, but he remembered what he had seen as he opened that door and entered the roof as he saw the sobbing teen in the arms of the other one who had been held still. He saw the sobbing teen's sister, caressing his back, trying to calm him down.

As he remembered he got speechless. This wasn't how proms were supposed to be. New teachers entered the roof, confused; among them stood Jan and Lucas. Jan had heard something going on, and being responsible enough to leave his precious pipe to see what it was, he had seen his childhood friend in a struggle and told Braginski and Mathilda.

It seemed like it was too late though and they soon got escorted away from the place as some teachers got the case under control. They didn't really know what had happened, but it was bad by the looks of it. Mathias never cried around people. That was something all of his old friends knew.

* * *

And you guys thought this would be another fluffy chapter, didn't you? Anyway, sorry if this was uploaded a bit late but I'm in the middle of my finals week, but please REVIEW and tell me what you think of this chapter! You guys were lazy last time and I don't want to be strict.

Next chapter involves: a tiny bit of fluff but also a bit of angst.


	7. Chapter 7

After the event at the roof, Mathias, Berwald and Mathilda got escorted away from the place by a police officer. She told them there was nothing to be afraid of and tried to do everything such a case needed before they got to the police station. Mathias wasn't crying anymore then, he was staring blankly out into nowhere. It creped his sister out, but she couldn't tell him not to. She was still traumatized by what she had seen, her brother down on the knees, cut and mistreated, gaging on someone's… she turned away, looking out of the window in the police officers office.

She could only imagine how Mathias or Berwald had it. The only thing she could do now was to give her brother sympathetic looks to inform that she was there for him. But Mathias didn't say anything; he just kept staring at nothing.

Her red dress had some darker, rusty red stains on it. Too bad it wasn't ketchup like it normally was when she had red stains on her dresses.

Berwald who had several times tried to adjust his glasses, tried to do it again, but failed. They were broken he guessed. He couldn't do much else than that when Mathias wouldn't let him do anything else but to talk.

Before Mathias had collapsed in tears, he had tried to push Berwald away, but as soon as the tears came he gave up. Now that he wasn't crying anymore, he would try to push anyone who touched him away again.

A killingly long time passed before any grownup entered the door to the police officer. When a grown up did enter, it was first Mathias's and Mathilda's parents.

Mathilda was the first of them to stand up; she hugged her mom while their father stood in the doorway with a shocked expression. Later when their mother turned to Mathias, everything went slower. She looked at her son for a while, feeling like killing whatever beast that had done this to her son. She tried to hug him, to comfort him. But Mathias leant away from her or flinched or said nothing.

"Honey, we need to get that suit fixed don't you think?" She said, trying to cheer him up. Berwald watched the mother try to comfort her son, watched Mathilda hug her dad. He waited for his own parents, what would they do?

He thought about it while feeling like he could have done so much more to stop Henrikk from doing it.

As time went the amount of people in the office got reduced to only Mathias, his mom, Berwald and his mom that had arrived shortly after Mathias's dad and Mathilda left. Berwald's dad was working late. Their moms sadly greeted each other. They knew all the details about the case…or, almost.

A new female police officer entered, explained what they would do and why. She would ask some questions and both boys would be free to answer.

She sat down behind her desk with a pen and paper ready.

"Can one of you two boys tell me precisely what happened tonight?"

Berwald looked to Mathias, but the Dane didn't respond. He looked at the police officer, furrowing his eyebrows without knowing it.

"We were at the roof-"

"Why" the police lady interrupted.

"To get some air" Berwald informed, already feeling angry. The lady wrote it down, before gesturing to him to continue.

"we talked, and suddenly we heard someone cough" He looked at Mathias and opened his mouth to say Henrikk was the one who did it, but Mathias suddenly moved his hand and gently held onto the end of his suit jacket, stopping him.

"They were masked" Mathias stuttered, saying his first words in a long time.

"We couldn't see who it was" he lied.

Berwald looked at him shocked. Why would he say that? They knew who it had been!

"Height, possible age?" The lady officer asked, looking down at the paper she wrote on. Berwald gapped. He was surprised she hadn't noticed the lie, shocked even.

"N- Not much older" he himself tried. If Mathias lied, he had his reasons, but he sure as hell was going to ask why when he could.

"Two of them were around 1, 75 meters tall, one was shorter, and two others were around 1, 80 meters" Berwald continued. He crossed his legs, feeling Mathias's grip on his jacket tighten a bit

"Do you feel like you got sexually harassed, Mathias?" she didn't look up, simply kept writing on the paper.

"y- Yes" He inhaled deeply and looked down, away from his mother's sad eyes.

"Did you feel threatened?"

"Yes of course!" He said sharply, looking at her, feeling a sort of anger build up together with utter shame. His mother laid a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it away.

The questioning went on like that, consisting of Mathias trying to keep himself from crying and Berwald telling the truth whenever he could. Their mother's only listened, what else could they do?

When the questioning was done, the teens went to their separate cars with their parent. Berwald said a sympathetic "good bye". Mathias only gave him a hum and waved his hand without looking at him. It was a movement that could have been easily missed, but Berwald took it nicely, as Mathias easily could have ignored his "good bye" and simply walked away without responding at all.

During the days that came, Mathias isolated himself quite a lot from the others. No one was allowed into his room, and he would ignore the messages that popped up on his computer screen when he saw them. He barely ate, slept or spoke, and when he did speak, it was sad and barely hearable.

He didn't show up on school that Monday, unlike Berwald.

The Swede got glared at during classes, and he had to try to contain himself from slitting Henrikk's throat with a pencil or a pair of scissors. He had never felt so angry before, never. Why Mathias decided to lie about who did it was a mystery to him. But _he_ knew perfectly well what Henrikk had done. It was a dishonor to Mathias and the world itself that Henrikk was allowed to walk freely, that he wasn't rotting in jail by now.

Henrikk for once didn't seem so cocky anymore when Berwald glared at him. No, he silently kept to his gang. Berwald let it pass for a while, but on the Friday, one week after the fight, he couldn't hold it in anymore when he heard Henrikk brag about what he had done, so care free.

He smashed the black haired teen to the wall so hard it knocked the breath out of him and punched him so hard he blacked out immediately. Henrikk's gang members didn't dare walk close to him, no, they fled. No teacher saw what he did, but that was okay, no teacher had seen what Henrikk had done either.

That day he walked straight up to Mathias's house after school. He needed to see him, needed to talk to him. Mathias's dad opened the door. He only looked at Berwald and after a few seconds he let him in. he told him Mathias was up in is room and told him "good luck"

He knocked on the door, but the only response he got was a weak hum. He opened it, taking it as an allowance for him to go in.

"How is it going?" he asked as he took in the sight of his room for the first time. The room was dark, as an effect of that he had pulled the curtains together.

"Fine" Mathias murmured. He had buried himself under a red duvet so Berwald couldn't see him.

Berwald moved closer and after a while he sat down at the end of his bed. He told about how his week had been, how Henrikk had bragged only once and how he himself had punched the guy unconscious as a result of it. Mathias actually breathed a laugh at the last thing.

After a while the Swede asked why he had lied, why he didn't tell the officer that Henrikk and his gang was the ones to blame. Mathias didn't answer until a long time had gone, but when he did, it was simple.

"I didn't want more drama. I didn't want the case to get out to the news so other people would get to know. I didn't want my parents to know what's been happening at school" he said, still hiding under the duvet.

Berwald tried to make him come out of the duvet, but the Dane refused. A longer time went, and it was around after an hour had gone that Mathias's mom came to check on them; she was greeted with the sight of her son' friend caressing his back, doing nothing more than to sit there in silence accompanying him. She smiled as she told him that Mathias hadn't dressed yet. It seemed like she had startled him a bit, but he smiled when he saw her. She commanded Mathias to dress himself and then walked away.

Berwald waited in the short hallway upstairs as the Dane got dressed. He thought for a minute before entering again, this time about something else.

"I don't judge you, if you wonder" He told the Dane as he sat down next to him on the bed again. This time he could see Mathias's face and eyes. He looked confused first, but then his eyes widen slightly. His mouth twitched slightly and a smile formed. It was a shy smile, but it was a smile.

They talked some more; about things that weren't important, about things that were important, and about things that didn't matter. It felt good for Mathias to be able to talk about things that didn't remind him of the event and he began to open up more and more during the day, that was till Berwald's phone started ringing.

It was his mum and dad and they were worried sick; it wasn't like Berwald to not go home right after school. If he didn't, he would always send a message. They told him dinner was ready, but he explained where he was and that was all they needed to let him stay a bit longer. He would simply just have to put it in the microwave when he got home. He checked his watch, noting the time 16:47.

When Berwald checked his watch the next time, it was 18:32.

"Will you meet me at the bus stop next Monday?" He asked, ready to go home, standing in front of the front door.

Mathias looked down, not sure.

"Maybe" he muttered.

"Please?" it wasn't like him to plead, but he had to, he wanted to see the Dane back again, happy and livid like he had been just one week ago. Isolation would just make things worse.

Mathias dwelled on it, not sure what he should say. He was scared, but that pleading look Berwald had in his eyes-

"Okay" he breathed.

"Promise?"

"Promise" Mathias smiled, but it quickly faded.

Mathias parents were watching and listening from the kitchen without the two teens knowing and hugged each other. Their son was finally going back to school.

The next Monday, rumors had spread like wild fire during dry season. Mathias was back at school. His classmates were curious, was it true? Were the things Henrikk had told them pure facts and not lies? It would explain why the blond had been gone for so long, but how could anyone do something like that for real?

The Dane held himself close to the Swede as they roamed the hallways; always close enough to grab hold of his sleeve or hand if he got scared. He felt pathetic doing so, but he couldn't help it either. The closer they got to the classroom the first period was supposed to be, he felt his own nervousness get stronger. Someone was behind that door to the classroom, and he knew perfectly well who.

"It is true" "omg what?" "No way" People whispered as he walked into the classroom. Berwald walked in front of him and he held a firm yet gentle grip around the Dane's wrist so he wouldn't run away as he suspected.

The Dane had assumed that laughing and pointing or howling would come next, but it didn't. After the whispering stopped, not a word was said.

Henrikk wasn't there yet, much to Mathias's relief. But something strange was going on. His classmates just looked at him sympathetically now, like he was a shot puppy in need for rescue or help. It wasn't anywhere close to what he had expected it would be like.

When Henrikk and his gang entered, something even more unexpected happened. People booed at him and his gang. Mathias looked at with big eyes from behind Berwald's back. The smiling Henrikk looked at them in confusion before his smile actually faded. He had bragged all week, gotten good response and people had even laughed when he had told what he had done to Mathias. But now that people knew it was actually _true_, they weren't laughing anymore.

Henrikk got mad when he saw Berwald and Mathias standing there innocently like they hadn't done anything. They had made the whole class turn on him for God's sake! He boiled with rage and strode over, but even a Henrikk in rage wasn't enough to defeat a defensive Berwald. The black haired teen fell to the floor like a dead fly at the direct fist-to-face punch and stayed there. The class cheered while Henrikk's gang got him back up on his feet's again. None of them dared go against Berwald though, seeing as the most dangerous and scary aura was surrounding the Swede. Like a pack of wolf's run away from fire, the "gang" fled to the other side of the classroom.

Weeks went, but that was the last encounter Berwald and Mathias had with Henrikk and the gang for a long time. There were still improvements to be made, but Berwald did not depart from Mathias's side.

It took a month before the Dane dared walk more than one meter away from his friend or even speak loudly; two months before he dared walk to places alone. Three months before he didn't flinch whenever someone moved too sudden in his presence or got scared by loud noises or scary looking people, and four months went before he was as close to the Mathias he used to be as he could get.

During the four months, he and Berwald got closer and closer. They visited each other almost every day, just to play videogames or even bake because Mathias was rather skilled at that, even if he didn't want to be. Sometimes Mathilda joined and the three of them would make brownies and watch a movie of the funny sort. Those with violence were still a bit too hard for Mathias to handle.

Some days it would be just him and Berwald again, and they would listen to music without doing anything, something the Swede appreciated once in a while.

Henrikk didn't bother them anymore and his gang had somewhat left him. He was all alone, kept to himself and glared at Mathias whenever he passed. He really hated him now, more than he used to. He had taken away his popularity, his gang, his awesomeness. He had embarrassed him in front of

them all, and that wasn't acceptable. He needed to do something and planned his master plan in the shadows of the school.

As the fifth month closed in on its end, the only thing Berwald and Mathias needed to worry about was the big class trip. Summer was close; the temperatures were high so of course they didn't worry too much. Instead of planning, they went out to play football in a less serious way and went to the cinema.

The night before the big day Berwald stayed at Mathias's place. He had brought his bags there and helped Mathias pack his. Mathias noticed the way the sun reflected in Berwald's eyes, how his glasses slid down a bit when he bent over to put the nicely folded clothes down in the bag. It was cute and Mathias took out things the Swede had put down in the bag several times just because he wanted to see the Swede adjust his glasses again.

They both talked like crazy before getting sleepy. They shared the same bed, but it was normal to do so in Mathias's family. Friends slept in the same bed even if they wanted to or not.

It felt weird to Mathias anyway, because he hadn't really had any friends over since it was innocent to share the same bed. The two of them had shared it several times and he tried not to think too much about it, but the thought of falling asleep in Berwald's arms were always so tempting. He had gotten so close to the Swede, closer than he could ever imagine and now he wanted to get even closer. It was a curse he thought, because he knew Berwald accepted him the way he was, but Berwald wasn't gay nor in love with him as he was with him.

He hadn't told him yet, but it had to be that way, didn't it?

He heard Berwald's breathing get lighter and turned to face him, finding him to be fast asleep. The moon light from outside shone down on him, making it possible for Mathias to see him clearly. He moved closer, feeling the Swede's body temperature. He studied the man's features as he always did: the slightly furrowed eyebrows, the soft looking lips, that cute nose… He felt Berwald move closer too and felt the Swede move his arms to hold around him; he smiled faintly. It felt cozy and he felt the nearly always present nervousness leave. It was weird that, but it always left when Berwald touched him or was close. Only Berwald could do that; make him feel safe without doing more than touching his shoulder or just being there. It was too much. How could he possibly try to not love him?

It was so bittersweet, he thought. He still felt damaged and pathetic when Berwald wasn't there, but not as much as he would have if Berwald hadn't been there at all, though, he wanted Berwald to always be there. He didn't want him to leave.

He pressed closer to the Swede and heard a slight murmur, probably sleep talking, but he didn't manage to understand the words.

He murmured "natta søde" and shortly after fell asleep.

* * *

As you guys probably noticed, I have been quite busy lately, due to my Finals of course. Anyway- as you _**also**_ can see, this chapter stretches over a long time period- something that will make the characters seem a bit changed in later chapters.

I do hope you as a reader enjoy reading this story, so please be kind and review and tell me what you think of it.

Btw- "natta søde" is Danish and means "good night sugar/cutie"


	8. Chapter 8

"Have fun! Don't do anything stupid! Don't forget to brush your teeth and, oh, I love you!"

The sound of his mom's numerous reminders fainted slowly, but surely as he and Berwald walked down the hill to the bus stop. The sun was already peeking down at them although it was early in the morning. The Dane still waited with buttoning up his red shirt till later, because even if the sun was peeking down at them, the air was a bit chilly.

The bus wasn't really supposed to arrive before another 15 minutes yet, but figuring that it was better to wait alone, they went anyway. The bus wouldn't take them to school as usual, but to the camping place in Norway. Mathias wasn't really sure of the town's name, but he knew the camp was called Svartjønna-kampingplass and that it was going to be an ass long road trip. The place had seven cabins, each of them was supposed to room eight or ten people. A part of Mathias actually hoped that Lucas and Emil would get placed in the same cabin as him and Berwald, but he couldn't be too optimistic about it. They had all been told to write down the name of _one_ person they wanted to share a cabin with, so of course he had written Berwald's name and Berwald had written his. Who else that would get the honor of sharing cabin with them, they didn't know, but Mathias desperately wished that Henrikk wouldn't be one of them.

The bus arrived and the bus driver collected their bags as they walked in to find their seats. Luckily enough, there were two seats left for them in the front.

In the back of the bus, their classmates were acting like Gorillas given steroids. Some were howling, others were energetically kicking the bus seat in front of them and the others were basically playing dangerous games with their pocket knives, doing the "I got all my fingers, the knife goes, chop, chop, chop" thing. How on earth their teacher didn't notice, Mathias didn't know.

He glanced to the side, catching a certain someone's gaze. He froze, seeing a smile creep up on the person's face. He felt Berwald elbow him in the side and turned around quickly.

"What?"

"Don't do that" Berwald muttered. He glanced at Henrikk, giving him the pissed of stare that had become his standard greeting to the swine.

"I don't like it when you look at him" he added, turning to Mathias.

Mathias murmured something, too lowly for Berwald to hear. Berwald only elbowed him gently in the side again, making a point. He hated to see how Mathias froze when Henrikk laid his eyes on him, so if he could, he would always try to distract the Dane. To make Mathias ignore Henrikk's stare was usually the best solution.

"I really hope we don't need to share cabin with him" Mathias said.

"Me neither" Berwald replied. He picked up his phone and plugged in the ear buds, looking at Mathias, wondering if he wanted to listen to music with him. Mathias shrugged, taking one of the ear buds. It was going to be a long trip anyway.

At exactly four o clock, the ferry that had taken them to Norway was at bay in Bergen. From there on, they had to drive four hours more with bus to get to Svartjønna.

Mathias gapped as they drove to the place, because honestly, he had never thought that rocks could look so scary. Mountain upon mountain met them on the way and the Dane felt like a mosquito in compared to the gigantic natural spectacles'. Also, snow was still showing at the mountain tops! Berwald could only look at the Dane in awe. Being originally from Sweden kind of gave you more experience with big things, so he wasn't as keen on peeking out the window as most of his classmates were.

At precisely eight in the evening, the bus arrived the camping place.

The place was easy enough. The camping place had a lake that was four hundred meters in length and two hundred meters at the broadest. The cabins had a gap on around forty to fifty meters in between them and at the shore there was a fireplace. Further up the lake there was a river surrounded with deciduous woodland.

Mathias noticed a few row-boats and canoes. He had never rowed before, but maybe he would try?

lining up to get to know who they would share cabin with and what cabin they would get, Mathias smiled at Braginski, who for some reason had joined them to watch over them, and Braginski smiled back.

He started with his usual heavy Russian accent and listed up the names.

"Cabin one-  
Mathias, Berwald, Jan, Gilbert, Lucas, Emil, Anton and Artur. You go to the cabin and wait for us to lock it up" the Russian man continued to cabin two, but Mathias didn't listen and he and the rest slowly began to walk towards the cabin together. The cabin was furthest away from the reception and bordered to the forest line that lead up to the tiny river that supplied the lake with water. Just like the tiny stream that continued out of the lake, there was a medium sized, handmade, wood bridge built over it that you could see if you really looked after it. Arthur had been the one who spotted it. As Mathias remembered, Arthur was "look at the details" man and he always tried to find mistakes or things that didn't fit in when it came to big houses or places. More precisely, he was a house enthusiast, and if the "house" wasn't built correctly, he would get mad or annoyed; something they all got to experience as the boy complained about the "waste of place" between the cabins.

Luckily enough, next to Arthur stood Anton, another blond haired boy; and Anton was a boy one could question if he really had any realistic or smart thoughts at all. Looking aside from that, everyone was happy when he elbowed Arthur in the side as a reminder that no one likes someone who complains a lot.

Next to Anton stood Gilbert, his best friend, and he was talking about how much he missed his pet bird already. How did Mathias know that Gilbert the white haired boy was Anton's best friend? Gilbert talked about it all the time. Arthur was also Anton's best friend, but one could question if he really liked to be that or not.

Mathias looked to his side, catching Emil's stare just before he felt someone poke him in the ribs. He turned around, finding Jan to be the one responsible for his itching rib-bone.

"What?" he asked grinning.

"It's going to be nice sharing a living place with at least _someone_ I don't _hate_" Jan stated, quickly giving the trio in front of them a glance. He gave Berwald a glance too, showing him that he wasn't ignored.

"That's nice to know" Mathias replied, realizing this was their first conversation since the episode on the roof. He blinked at the thought of it, quickly thinking of something else.

"It sure is going to be interesting" Lucas suddenly interrupted, leaning on his standing suitcase. Emil just shrugged as if he didn't care, living up to his "fuck the world" known attitude that Mathias remembered so well. Mathias gave the shorter teen a glare, somewhat ignoring his comment.

Howling suddenly erupted from Anton and they all look at him, wondering what was going on.

"The girls have their cabins next to us!" he exclaimed, pulling Gilbert and Arthur closer while jumping up and down. Emil suddenly seemed to care.

"Hey girls, come visit us please! These two studs' wants some cuddle buddies!" Anton yelled, pulling Gilbert and a blushing Arthur closer. Giggling was their response.

Mathias breathed a laugh. Why did all the cool, funny, non-hating people have to be in a different classroom? He leant on Berwald, finding himself strangely tired after the long tour.

"If there are bunker beds I'm sleeping on top" he informed him, head butting the Swede's shoulder. Jan smiled, watching the two interact. He felt somewhat guilty for not being able to warn the grownup's about what was happening on the roof earlier. Rumors had spread; they all knew more or less what had really happened there, so of course, seeing Mathias smile helped. As an old childhood friend, he still cared when he knew something bad had happened even if he didn't interact with the blond regularly.

Being the teen he was he had brought his own special "tobacco" for his pipe. Usually he didn't share, but he could stretch it as far as offering Mathias a few inhales from the pipe, couldn't he?

Lucas had heard Henrikk talk about what he was going to do the day before the prom, but he hadn't believed it. When he had seen Mathias cry on the rooftop though, he realized his mistake. He should have told Mathias what Henrikk had talked about instead of just saying "look out for yourself."

Mathias noticed how everyone looked at him with sympathetic looks again and a painfully awkward silence followed. He felt relieved when Braginski suddenly appeared with a key, telling them to walk inside.

The cabin was amazing. Two floors, a huge refrigerator, the classiest looking kitchen ever, a sauna, four bed rooms and a balcony bigger than the one he had home. Anton and Gilbert ran upstairs immediately, claiming the huge TV that stood there as theirs while Arthur subbed after. Lucas and Emil claimed one of the bedrooms up there, while Anton and Arthur claimed the other one. Gilbert got the unwanted honor of sharing bedroom with Jan downstairs, while Berwald and Mathias had occupied the other one.

"Only thirty seconds and they have already settled" Braginski laughed. He adored those kids; that was why he had taken the fulltime job as a teacher for the class instead of moving to a different school as a substitute. That and he had grown quite found of Miss Kristen. A lovely lady she was.

"There will be supper at the outside fireplace in two hours!" he informed, not knowing if any of them heard it.

Mathias threw himself on the bed, making it creak and slide apart. Apparently two beds had been pushed together to look like one big double bed. He scoffed as he pushed himself up on his elbows and looked at the gap between the two beds.

"Oops" he lilted.

Berwald snorted as he put down his bag on the other bed that was now closer to the wall.

"This one's mine" he informed. Mathias only nodded and groaned, slumping down on the bed again.

Berwald started unpacking his bag, looking out the window in the room. The sun hadn't gone down yet, a thing that was well known in Norway, the land of the midnight-sun. He looked to Mathias, finding him to be resting with his eyes closed. Usually, the spiky haired blond would be hyperactive and chatting like hell at this time of the day, but he guessed taking in so much nature and landscape was tearing at his energy level.

He noted the time, remembering Braginski's words. He heard Mathias snore lightly and argued with himself if whether or not he should let him sleep or if he should wake him up. Watching him sleep for a few seconds, he decided he would let him sleep for half an hour or so. As he left the bedroom he grabbed a book he had brought to read and laughed slightly at how unnaturally fast the Dane could fall asleep sometimes.

The Swedish man sat down in the sofa in the supposed living room and tried to ignore Lucas who was watching TV with Emil. Although, after around an hour he could sense someone's stare and felt rather uncomfortable. He turned slowly as he held his finger on the last line he read, and sure enough, someone was staring. If he hadn't been the man he was he might have freaked out a little bit at the pure creepiness of the stare coming from the teen sitting next to him.

Lucas was simply leaning on his hand and glaring at him like it was nothing unusual. Berwald tried to smile to inform the other that he had spotted him; usually that made strangers who stared at you in public look away, but Lucas simply kept on staring.

He looked at Emil who was watching the TV with the most concentrated look ever, wondering if there was any help to get from him. Emil actually noticed that the Swede was looking at him after a while and turning to Lucas a frown appeared on his face.

"LUCAS!" Emil bellowed. The shorter teen smacked Lucas in the back of his head, startling him.

"How many times have I told you to not do that sort of thing" Emil lectured. Berwald sighted, happy to have the teen's stare off of him, but also a bit startled by Emil's sudden yelling.

"I was just thinking" Lucas tried, looking like had said the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah right, you're creeping the guy out" Emil informed, addressing to Berwald. Berwald just shrugged his shoulders and adjusted his glasses, trying to not attract too much attention and just read on. He didn't really like too much attention.

"I'm sorry man" Lucas said, leaning towards the Swede.

"But I got to ask one question" he added. Berwald looked him dead in the eye, giving up on reading.

"Are you guys together?"

"You can't just ask something like that you ass" Emil exclaimed, smacking his idiotic brother again.

Berwald was left dumbfounded, unable to speak. His first impression of them had told him they were serious and a bit boring, but this… he opened his mouth to say "no", but a certain feeling stopped him. He could easily see how they could have been friends with Mathias now. Again, he was left with his mouth open, waiting to say something more intelligent than usual, but he couldn't. He felt his cheeks warm up.

"A man got to ask questions!" Lucas whined. Emil had pushed him down on the floor and was currently sitting on top of him.

"You are so going into the fridge" Emil threatened.

"Oh no, not the fridge" Lucas replied sarcastically, trying to wiggle the other off.

"No" Berwald suddenly interrupted "we aren't together, only friends" he added, trying to be dead serious. Lucas looked up at the Swede from his current position on the floor and hummed.

"Interesting that" he replied, shortly after getting the breath taken away from him as the shorter teen stood up on him and walked away.

"I'm taking a walk, the episode is over anyway" Emil informed, disappearing out the door.

"Sorry about my brother" Lucas said, standing up and brushing of invisible dust from his pants. Berwald hummed, bringing the book closer to his face again. It wasn't really Emil who had been the problem in the first place though.

"I just wanted to know what you two are for each other, you know, one never knows for sure without asking" he informed calmly and sat down next to the Swede. Berwald blushed but hid it with his book. He cursed himself. Why was he able to be serious almost all of the time but unable to speak when introduced to embarrassing things?!

"Where's the idiot right now?" Lucas asked.

"h's sleepin'" Berwald tried to control his accent, but it was a curse that had teamed up with the other one. Lovely! He thought. Why was Lucas talking to him anyway? He asked himself, annoyed.

"I… appreciate you being there for him" Lucas said, suddenly very serious. Berwald frowned, looking down in his book for a while.

"It was nothing" he finally informed.

"I suppose I should go after my brother" Lucas said after a great silence.

Berwald watched the shorter teen leave and sighted. He heard Anton and Gilbert walk down the stairs and closed the book. He left the sofa to its new occupants feeling more annoyed than he had been in a long time.

He entered the bedroom, finding Mathias still fast asleep. So cute, he thought.

He lay down on his bed, facing Mathias. The bed sheets were cold and more comfortable than he would have hoped and he crumpled together some of it like a pillow. He guessed this was far much more relaxing than reading in the living room. Closing his eyes for a few seconds, he listened to Mathias's steady breathing. It was nice to listen to, almost hypnotic.

He sighted again. The things he would do for Mathias, they were too many to be listed. Simply being there was almost mandatory. He checked his watch, figuring he would give the Dane another fifteen minutes of sleep before waking him up. Lying perfectly still and waiting was what he would do in the meantime he guessed. He looked at Mathias's face. That wouldn't be too hard, he thought as he blushed.

He closed his eyes again, listening to the light breathing. Seconds later he felt the sleepiness catch hold of him.

"Hmm" the Dane shifted ever so lightly, ruining the silence. Berwald opened his eyes and watched closely, sure it was another nightmare. He sat up and felt the sleepiness leave, ready to comfort the Dane, but Mathias suddenly turned around completely, letting out another groan. The blond stared at Mathias's back and stood up, walking over to his bed. He waited a few moments before sitting down at the edge of it. Mathias groaned again, this time louder and more breathlessly. Berwald wondered; was he dreaming about getting strangled?

"Ber-"

A shiver went down his spine as Mathias shifted and curled up his feet. He gently laid his hand on his shoulder, rocking it.

"Mat?" he tried. Mathias stopped groaning, but the shifting continued. He leant over enough to see his expression and rocked his shoulder again. Berwald tried not to think of it, but no matter how much he tried, the expression Mathias was making was a bit arousing.

"What…?" Mathias murmured.

Berwald finally saw the Dane's eyes open and he was greeted with befuddled eyes. He breathed out relieved and tried to give him a smile until Mathias suddenly sat up so abruptly it scared him. Mathias didn't do anything more than to hug him though, and Berwald soon felt stupid for getting scared. He should have expected that. He heard Mathias's unsteady breathing and slowly patted his back as he tried to bring the Dane closer.

"What w's it about this time?" Berwald asked.

"He was drowning me… n'd later you" Mathias stuttered. He felt pathetic again, but so scared at the same time; trying to hide in Berwald's arms only came naturally.

"H-he tried to" he tried to continue, but Berwald shushed him, telling him there was no need for the details to which Mathias only replied with silence to. It took a while, but after a few moments the spiky haired blond calmed down. He was breathing calmly, able to hide his face in the creak of the Swede's neck. This time, he had been able to hold the tears in, but other nights… he hated to show Berwald how weak he really was mentally, so he tried all he could to not cry after waking up from things like that when Berwald slept over or the other way around. But when he was alone, he usually cried.

Someone knocked on the door and Mathias pulled away hastily, looking startled at the door.

"I think we should get going soon" Jan stared, peeking in. he laid eyes on the two boys sitting on the bed almost tangled and for a second he felt like he had interrupted something very private. He was about to say 'sorry' and leave, but then he saw Mathias's glossy eyes and a whole new picture came up in his mind.

Mathias looked away ashamed at the realization and stuttered a weak "sure"

The Dane stood up and walked past Jan who was standing still in the doorway. He felt a pat on the back and honestly it sent a sort of cheering feeling through him. Berwald followed, feeling strangely protective, but as he walked past Jan he managed to take his eyes off of Mathias's back for a second to register the sweet-like scent coming from the equally tall teen. It stung his nose to be more precise. Jan only looked at him with a questioning expression as he furrowed his eyebrows.

Outside, Mathias was trying not to get a laughing fit. It had only been a bad dream, not reality, he assured himself as he walked. His mood could be quickly changed, yes, and so could people's interpretation of someone else too. He almost giggled as he saw Berwald stare in vain at Jan who he was sure had been up on the roof smoking weed again. He wondered how much this askew Berwald's first impression of him.

He couldn't stop himself from laughing when Jan almost tripped over him. He really shouldn't, but how couldn't he?

"So… How many?" he asked. Jan smiled, but Berwald only furrowed his eyebrows more.

"I think… fifteen inhales and exhales" the stoned Jan answered.

"Your mom is crazy for letting you touch that stuff, man" Mathias replied.

"As long as my aunt in Netherlands doesn't get caught for shipping, I have no problems" Jan slurred.

"I only smoke on weekends" he added.

"You call th's a weekend?" Berwald asked.

"It sure is" Jan answered, a rare smile crept up on his face.

"Well we know where you'll be the next oncoming days then…" Mathias giggled.

Xxx

"To be sure none of you are lost or have disappeared; we will check that every student is in their cabins before midnight" Braginski informed. He was holding a stick with a burning marshmallow on it and the light from the fire behind him made him appear somewhat creepy.

"Also, there is a mall not too far away from here for those who have been asking about that" he added. Some boys and girls cheered.

"Now, I wish you all a good stay, tomorrow we will do rowing exercises!"

Mathias looked to the tiny row-boats and smiled. He guessed it would be quite funny to learn how to row, especially when the boat he was going to row wasn't out on the big wild seas, a tiny lake with decent overview was the thing he needed. No one knew, but he was secretly a bit anxious out on the seas, that's why on the journey here he had hid in the café on the ferry.

He gushed. Those waves had been too high.

Turning to face Braginski again, he almost jumped out of his pants; in front of him were two staring, ice blue eyes.

"Do you want a marshmallow?"

Swallowing down his own high pitched scream, he nodded as he continued to stare into those eyes. Berwald, the owner of those said eyes smiled weirdly and then stuck a marshmallow on the stick he was holding. The Dane turned to see where he had got it from and noticed that Lucas was holding three sticks in his hand and a bag of marshmallows in the other. He breathed out as he saw Berwald burn the marshmallow on accident.

"Charming" he muttered and felt a blush appear.

"It got a bit burnt" Berwald said and sat down next to Mathias on the log.

"I saw" Mathias snickered. Berwald grunted and gave the Dane his stick, waiting for him to eat it, whilst Mathias only stared at him in awkward silence as he guided the marshmallows to his mouth. He wondered; was Berwald going to stare at him till he ate it?

He took the marshmallow in his mouth and felt the sickening sweet taste as it melted on his tongue. He looked at Berwald and tried to swallow the sweet stuff, but honestly it was hell to do so and he almost choked because some of it stuck in his throat. Although he almost choked, Berwald didn't notice and soon found other things to care about, like that sweet-like smell coming from Jan who sat next to him.

Mathias went to get some real food and took two plates with sandwiches with cheese on. He guessed Berwald would eat whatever he brought him, so giving the Swede his plate; he sat in between him and Jan just so the two of them wouldn't begin to discuss the matter of right or wrong when it came to certain subjects like drugs.

The evening went slowly as they ate supper. Lucas and Emil were talking with each other about fishing and who was the best, Jan and Berwald were becoming friendlier to each other and Mathias was watching while all this happened. Of course, Berwald didn't start any of the conversations himself, Mathias was the one who did that; and also, Jan wasn't really the one answering- he was just nodding along and listening. Really, the only thing the taller two did was to listen to Mathias as the Dane thought he was the one listening. Everyone enjoyed it though, but sooner than later, Jan began to wonder about the two again. The looks, the smiles, the obvious personality change from the both when they were together. They both dared to be themselves rather than someone else, and when Jan, a person who had barely been with them at all noticed this; he wondered what everyone else thought.

When the time was around midnight, the trio slowly began to make their way towards the cabin again. Mathias was almost sleeping on Berwald by then and the Swede was doing just so on the Dane too. Mathias took in the scent of Berwald, wood mixed with fabric softener, and sighted. He looked up at the stars before they walked in as the many dots were just visible high up there. He remembered the stormy clouds that used to circle his town, where had they gone?

"I wonder, where do clouds go when they…you know… go?" Mathias slurred.

"I don't know. D'n't ask so hard questions" Berwald mumbled back.

"This is turning rather fun, care to join me on the roof?" Jan said, amused.

"I'll sleep on ya, but sure" the Dane answered and moved a bit too suddenly against the door. Berwald who was leaning on him almost fell and grabbed on to his friend, holding him tightly.

"You're coming too" he said and grabbed hold of Berwald's arm. Berwald, almost asleep, finally began to react as they walked up the stairs and past Anton, Arthur and Gilbert. The three boys who sat playing videogames only brushed them off as nothing when they walked past them and didn't even notice the weird smell that came from the window afterwards.

Out on the roof, Jan had found his precious pipe and currently, the person holding it was Mathias. The teen wasn't really okay with this kind of thing, but as long as it was only once it was okay, right?

He inhaled the smoke and waited a few seconds before slowly blowing it out. It sent chills down his spine and honestly, he had never felt such a feeling ever as he looked from Berwald to the stars time after time. It was two beautiful things, both so easy to love, but so far away and out of reach. Yet, he could touch Berwald if he really wanted to, couldn't he? He leant on the Swede, most likely for the hundredth time during the evening, and sighted loudly. Jan, who was lying on the roof, almost sleeping, didn't even register the two teens who took turns on using his pipe. They watched the stars together and sometime during the hour, they had leant so close Mathias could hear Berwald's heartbeat.

He wondered why Berwald seemed so calm when his heart was racing just like his own. He wondered why Berwald was blushing so much; he wondered why he himself couldn't just close that gap of mere centimeters between their lips and take that one final step that could end his very life- or begin it.

* * *

Hiii! It's me, the writer here! I just want to tell you guys how busy I have been lately, but also how proud I am of you (with all your reviews and all) also, I think this chapter sums up how some of the Nordics/others would have appeared for a person who already knew them (not 100% stone-faced)

But as always! PLEASE REVIEW, reviews is my fuel and I need it to keep writing!


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